Thoughts on Californication

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In 1950, there were ten million people living in California. Today there are 38 million. 
If you are from California and travel to any state that borders California even remotely (Oregon, Nevada, Utah, Arizona, Colorado, Idaho, etc) you will find that they may like you until they notice the license plate on your car. 
Eagle Talon Tomahawk, made by
RJM Forge, and in common usage
by Naval Special Warfare
About three years ago, I was traveling through Cottonwood, Arizona in my 4×4 and was literally attacked at a gas station by a couple of angry tweakers who took exception to my California license plates. Apparently they felt that because I was from California that (a) I was unarmed and unprepared (b) was a left wing pansy and (c) wouldn’t welcome the confrontation because I happened to be older than they were. They went away wrong on all counts. But the point remains. 
I visited friends in Oregon who gave me a set of “cold” (police type) Oregon license plates to use while I was in Oregon so that people wouldn’t think badly of me. Yes, it goes that far. 
When I was a kid, “California hunter” was one of the largest insults that could be hurled at another during deer season in Utah. The “blue state stain” spreads.
Californication is the process whereby the subject or object is enveloped in a California-esqe hold, whereby everyone is young, perfect but most of all plastic and fake. For Example: It looks as if Amy’s got a case of Californiacation going on.

I’ve seen the bumper sticker, “Don’t Californiacate Colorado!

– fornicate being the verb pertaining to coitus, or in intended translation “don’t screw up Colorado the way they have California.” The context was to stop the migration of people (and culture) from California to Colorado, thus eliminating the growing problem of political activists/extremists, the general point of view Californian’s have (hyper left-wing views). 

As viewed on the television show South Park – The smugness of Californian people (and their perceived ignorance, naivety and over-all self importance/self promotion or smugness) caused an epic natural disaster thereby adversely affecting many other states and peoples residing within.

Californians have been leaving the state in record numbers over the past few years (rats leaving a sinking ship) and have infected neighboring areas — according to people who live there. It’s come to the point of outright defamation. But in my heart I can’t blame them. There are islands of sanity in California but they are all but eclipsed by the loud chanting of fruits and nuts.
For your Sunday tune, I offer the following:

Psychic spies from China
Try to steal your mind’s elation
Little girls from Sweden
Dream of silver screen quotations
And if you want these kind of dreams
It’s Californication

It’s the edge of the world
And all of western civilization
The sun may rise in the East
At least it settles in the final location
It’s understood that Hollywood
sells Californication

Pay your surgeon very well
To break the spell of aging
Celebrity skin is this your chin
Or is that war your waging

And tidal waves couldn’t save the world
From Californication

11 thoughts on “Thoughts on Californication

  1. Being from Texas, and specifically the Dallas area, I'm not unfamiliar with the stereotype thing. Though mine tends to of a different flavor.

    We do experience some of the refugee effect. Liberals who have mucked up their own nests are flooding into Texas full tilt. I wouldn't mind if they had learned their lesson… but many start right in wanting to make their new home a mirror of the mess they just came from.

  2. That's the pattern of Californication. Progressive people make a complete hash of an area, destroying it and then they move on like locusts.

  3. Good post LL, and Californication has destroyed both Oregon and Washington, and they're working on Colorado… Similar things are happening on a smaller scale in places like Vermont (overrun by NY and MAssholes), and New Hampshire. It's truly sad that even Texas has suffered (mostly around Austin).

  4. Europeans look with disdain at American culture. Americans disparage Californians. Californians view San Francisco and Sacramento as the root of the problem, with a little Hollywood thrown in. Shit rolls downhill.

  5. Chickelit – I don't want to put words in your mouth, BUT, as I understand your position, you're suggesting that shit rolls downhill to Hollywood and San Francisco and there it comes to rest? Who could argue with that?

  6. Californication is a magnet attracts progressives the way that compost draws flies. It has its own gravity.

  7. It goes both ways I guess, the called us 'Zonies when we went to see the Ocean. I put in for South Oregon (Bend, Medford, Eugene, Salem), but will probably get sequestered out of that…

    I asked for an RMJ for Christmas, Santa said there is a ONE YEAR WAIT?!?! I don't think Santa will have the $350 the next time around.

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