The Disaster Log

Blog Post
Keeping You Up to Date
It’s all part of the service here at Virtual Mirage
1965: Overpopulation has doomed the planet. We may have 30 years left but by 2000, we’ll all starve.
               – Even Star Trek did a piece on overpopulation.
1970: The New Ice Age is upon us, we will freeze to death as we starve (see 1965). Earth Day is established.
1980: Acid rain will wipe out crops and we will starve before overpopulation and the ice age kills us. (case study HERE, h/t blogger John D)
1990: The ozone layer is gone. We’ll all die of cancer or be forced to live underground in bunkers.
1995: Global warming is melting the glaciers. Kevin Costner stars in WaterWorld, illustrating a bleak future. Polar bears will be dead by 2010.
2006: Global warming is melting the polar caps. In six years they will be gone. Has been politico, Al Gore produces his hoax film, An Inconvenient Truth, and becomes a millionaire – again –  from donations made by socially conscious people. He then sells his green company to an oil company, making even more. Donating money to various causes is touted as the answer to the world’s weather.
2010: Climate change will destroy the planet, we have 12 years left to live! The global warming hoax started to be set aside because the Earth wasn’t warming.
2018: Climate change will still destroy the planet unless we pay several trillion dollars (China is exempt) and we still have 12 years left to live.
2019: Stop having children. They won’t live to adulthood. It’s climate change, you see. We can stop the advance of the disaster by spending US national treasure and distributing it worldwide, killing all cows (except India) and doing away with cars, ships and airplanes (except those used by the elite). It’s ok if China keeps its cars, planes and ships, and keeps using coal to generate power. President Trump goes to the G-7 Summit in Paris and passes on attending the climate segment. Maybe he took a nap or played golf instead.
The only sure way to save the planet and its inhabitants is to send cash – small bills ok – to Virtual Mirage. I’m sure that you’ll feel better once you box up that unwanted US currency (ok to use large U-Haul boxes) and send it off to us. Heal the planet, donate now. I’ll buy a steer, kill it and eat the steaks in your honor. A $1,000 donation gets you a free bag of jerky to celebrate killing a cow.

6 thoughts on “The Disaster Log

  1. Good start, but you need to work on your marketing strategy. Perhaps your kitchen consultant could recommend someone?

  2. Apparently there are all sorts of diseases locked up in the glaciers and when those melt due to resumed global warming, we will all die when when the plagues are released. AOC said so. I saw her video. This will probably happen in twelve years.

  3. We're clearly in a long-running War Against The Weather.

    Good thing we have nukes! But seriously, was there ever such a scam?

  4. Fear is a great sales technique. It provides incentive for people to do all kinds of things they would not do under normal circumstances.

    If you have a family and die, your loved ones will languish in the cold, snowy gutter and eat out of rat infested dumpsters for the rest of their lives. But this needn't be that dire future, Mr. Fumduk. All you need do is sign here on this dotted line, and this life insurance policy will make all of that bad stuff go away. Now, don't forget to make your premium payments, Mr. Fumduck.

    Getting on in years? Getting up and down those stairs can result in a fall that will cause you agonizing pain lying on the floor until you perish. But wait! This Stair Lift system will extend your life forever, just a few lousy thousand bucks and this can all be yours, Mr. Dimplik.

    AOC plus Three are getting pretty good at this fear stuff. It will take them far, just you wait and see, cuz there are millions of Fumduks and Dimpliks out there just chomping at the bit to cast their vote for these scalawags.

  5. If I donate $1000, I want at least 2 bags of jerky, and it has to be home made. 😉

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