Let’s Talk about Race

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I don’t drink coffee. Yes, I know that it’s the life blood of the Navy, but I don’t have that addiction. I don’t smoke either. I avoid stuff that tends to control me, to the extent possible. I pay taxes because there is a gun pointed at my head if I don’t…that’s not an addiction but it’s control and I pay. 
Coffee is one of those things that I avoid. I’ve heard that the coffee mixers at Starbucks are supposed to ask customers what they think about race. I didn’t experience it until I met a guy there to talk about work-related stuff. So I went in and sat amid laptop-dependent live-at-home twenty and thirty-somethings who spend half the day there swilling $8.00 double latte mocha mud that their parents end up paying for.
The coffee mixer asked, “can we talk about race?” I said, “I think that you’re an Indian…red dot, not feather. Am I right and do I get a free cuppa joe?” I didn’t get a free cup, so I ordered ice water while the other guy, an Iranian named Hassan, got a frapachino of some sort. 
The jumped-up little billionaire who owns the Starbucks brand  lives in a gate-guarded mansion in the Seattle suburbs where there are only white people. Therefore he feels that we should all talk about race.

To satisfy that billionaire and the wimpy coffee mixer, I went around the place identifying the races I thought were present: “I’m a redneck, gun toting cracker, my friend from the Middle East is a sand nigger or a dune coon, depending on your point of view (pointing to Hassan, the coffee drinker). The bull lesbian over there next to you (also a coffee mixer – lot of tats) looks like a mulatto, and the rest of these jerk offs are of indeterminate race (people on their laptops) and all of them seem to be pretending to be doing something so that they’re not underfoot in their parent’s homes all day. Does that work for you?” 

He nervously said that it did.
The morons sitting around Starbucks in the mid-morning time period were classic progressive liberals and presumably they enjoy the self-indulgent bullshit! But then again, that’s what liberals do isn’t it? It’s Southern California and the fact that damned near every race under the sun from Danes and Asians to Mexicans and Negroes were present in Starbucks drinking one $8.00 coffee after another is proof positive that the “white privilege” that they whine about doesn’t exist.

34 thoughts on “Let’s Talk about Race

  1. LL: maybe it's time to pull up stakes in LA and head for the sticks. You know, Fly Over Country, the boonies, places where Starbucks fear to tread. The ol' blood pressure would probably agree with your decision. Dune coon? Bull Lesbian? Just FYI, back in my day, we called them bull dikes.

  2. Bull as opposed to lipstick…yeah, I know. I was trying to be modern and more politically correct. That's me. Never wishing to offend…

  3. LL: you're about as non-offensive as a rebel flag (aka 'stars and bars') at a Vermont wedding.

  4. Have you noticed the similarity between Starbucks and Apple Stores? Business proposal: open Starbucks franchise IN Apples Store.

    All the "geniuses" can buy tripple mocha fratte while the indeterminately gendered mid-morning "baristas" can load up their parents' credit card on the latest tablets and phones.

    Win, Win.

    Maybe ISIS will take out these stores, and destroy the future of the Democratic party.

    Another Win.

  5. I seldom drank coffee until I went on the Police Department. Then I put it down by the gallon. I stopped before I left the job, as my blood pressure was breaking records. Now – I might have a cup every year or so.

  6. If you want a cup, don't go to Starbucks unless you want them to challenge you on matters of race as you fork over $8.00 for coffee.

  7. Some coffee might take the edge off that! I have a Starbucks card, simply because I like to hit the drive up window while on the road and order plain black coffee. I know it will be consistently bad.
    And I have a bunch of stickers that look like the Starbucks logo but say "I love guns and coffee", that somehow get placed around…

  8. Please don't apply a Starbuck's "Let's talk about race" sticker on your ride. Please. Pretty please with sugar on it.

  9. I don't go there a lot because I can brew a nice cup of coffee at home for about 4 cents. I should go there, however, because I hate everyone.

  10. Now that's as provocative a post as I've seen in a while…personally I prefer McDonald's coffee and don't go to Starbucks anymore; and "NO" I don't want to talk about race…the founder of Starbucks sounds a lot like the founders of Burning Man. They go to their counter culture festival in million dollar motorhomes surrounded by other million dollar motor homes and surrounded by security. The rest of the participants are camping in the playa dust while the founders laugh their way all the way to the bank. People are lemmings…

  11. Way back when, I ran a skylight company in Seattle. Great product, things were always looking up! The Starbuck's founder was just getting started and lived on Mercer Island where, allegedly, one of our skylights was leaking. He and I climbed up on his flat roof to examine the skylight. His gutters were plugged and his parapet acted as a reservoir. You could see the scum line halfway up the skylight. We had a spirited conversation that left him dissatisfied. He didn't like me pointing out he was lucky the roof hadn't collapsed from the weight of all that water and his need to pull his head out of his ass and do basic maintenance.

  12. Suffice to say they and he don't want an HONEST conversation about race… He's pandering to the left…

  13. Okay you owe me a new keyboard… I just spit my good cajun coffee all over the keyboard on that one…

  14. Cajun, There you go with that double talk again.

    LL, you need to let us know ahead of time when you're going to do your show. I think most of us would pay good money to watch.

  15. Yes, they're capitalists, pandering to the mindless liberal clowns/flower children – who also likely attend Burning Man.

  16. I'm sure that he's the kind of guy who can't pour sand out of a boot. He was able to build a better mousetrap by selling coffee that costs $.10 for $8.00…smart enough to do that but no common sense.

  17. I do stuff like this all the time. I super glue quarters to the floor in Walmart and watch the Walmartians try and pry them up, etc.

  18. Anonymous above (nameless hereafter) has seen me do some small things over the years. Not quite a witness, but you get the picture.

  19. I do drink coffee, just NOT Star*ucks Burned Roast varieties. Mine is Fairway Market's lightly roasted Tanzania Peaberry, ground to espresso fineness and run through a drip filter at 5:00 AM. No coffee after Noon.

  20. Do you talk to the people who sell it to you about race? If not, maybe you should strike up a conversation… J/K

  21. consistently bad! yes. that's how I feel. So now I do the free cup from McDonalds on Monday mornings. 🙂 Classy!!!

  22. I think of Austin as San Francisco – light. However, if San Francisco had bats, it would just be that much cooler.

  23. HA! I wish I'd been there! But then you might have called me the prissy, jumped up, middle class English bird with a tell tale Harris Tweed that comes to coffee shops to drink earl Grey.

  24. You — NEVER! I'd hold you up as a paragon of literary and photographic virtue. A marble model of what mankind can make themselves into if they're willing to work at it!

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