I’ve noticed that garages on the West Coast of the US tend to be bigger than those on the East Coast. I have NEVER had a house that I bought on the West Coast with a smaller than three car capacity. That’s the baseline, but of course, it’s not ever big enough. A realtor in Virginia showed me a rental with a one-car garage a number of years ago. I asked, “Is that it?” She seemed to be pleased that there was a one-car garage and said so. How can carry out all of the necessary manly activities that tradition requires in a one car garage? The answer is that you can’t. And a car port is an insult to masculinity.
Is there any bigger garage fantasy than to simply buy out a Snap-On Truck? No.
Can a garage contain an airplane? No. If there is an airplane in it, it’s a hanger. Are the rules for a hanger the same as for a garage? Yes.
|A quanset hut makes an acceptable garage if you can lift your car/truck
inside of the structure to work on it.
Should you have more than one gun safe in your garage? YES. How else can you safely store your guns and ammo?
Should young children be allowed in your garage? NO. There should be brass shavings on the floor from where you’ve de-burred cartridge mouths and primer pockets to point to if young (loud and annoying) children show up. It’s dangerous for them to be out there hanging out while manly pursuits are undertaken. If you’re not loading, you can hacksaw/sawzall something and use those shavings to point to. Through some small screws onto the deck — and maybe something electrical that gives off ominous sparks should be sited within the reach of a small child as well as a precautionary back-up. Can you leave your garage to watch the small children? “It’s not possible to leave at this time.” Can you leave for supper? “Yes, immediately.”
Should your garage include a kitchenette? NO. A bar-b-cue is sufficient, and that can be sited near the roll-up/flip up car door. A nearby restroom is useful or your beer’d up friends will simply take a leak outside of the garage door as soon as an inning/quarter ends or the network breaks for commercials.
Should you play cards with your friends in your garage? YES. Even though I am not personally a card player, your garage should be large enough to have a card table in addition to everything else that this blog mandates.
Should you have a gym in your garage? YES. You can go from having a buddy spot your lifts to an in-depth discussion of the latest issue of Popular Mechanics and move from your rack of weights to the work bench to discuss something in detail and go back to the work-out with seamless motion.
- You have a garage, it’s your domain, and your tools are all laid out so that you know where they are. Suddenly a screwdriver goes missing. You didn’t move it. But you know who did. If you ask where the screwdriver is, the answer will go something like this: “Where were YOU when I needed the screw tightened?” Notice how the blame shifted immediately?
- “Sweetheart, do you mind if I store this (insert domestic item name here – maybe something like two cases of feminine hygiene products) in the garage? You know that I love you SOOOooooo much!”
- YES I MIND is a dangerous tactic because it paints you as an unbending martinet, and there are places in your love nest where she can take immediate revenge.
- NO, I DON’T MIND means that your garage will soon be filled with crap not of your making. You’re going to have to navigate that mine field on your own.
What is the perfect garage? THE BAT CAVE, only bigger (see below)