Food Groups in Texas

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There are different food groups in Texas. Some come from the deep fryer such as deep fried butter, deep fried pecan pie and deep fried cheesecake. Those food groups don’t show up on menus in California where cale, tofu and free range, sustainable (whatever) are key ingredients.  

The last time that I was in Hillsboro, shooting with LSP and Blue Destroyer, we stopped at the fried pie store. You can’t buy proper fried pies (pronounced ‘frad pa’) in California, which may be why people are so weird.

In Texas, people confuse Elvis and Jesus. That may be because they look a lot the same on those velvet paintings you can still buy at the swap meets. However if Jesus was really from Texas (and I’m not saying that he wasn’t), he would have had recently made squeeze (shine) and fresh, hot pecan pie served at the last supper.

Not LSP’s truck and dog

People in California don’t often drive around with a dog in the bed of the pick up and a lever action rifle or AR-15 and a fishing pole in the back window (with a Confederate Flag decal on the glass). If they did, I’m sure that there would be a different legislature than the one currently in office, and deep fried butter might be on the menu.

33 thoughts on “Food Groups in Texas

  1. You shoot with someone called ‘Blue Destroyer’?

    I am now walking around English land saying “frad pa” and finding that I have it off to a tee.

    I thought Elvis was Jesus…

    On the subject of Jesus, since you brought him up, if he, sorry, “HE’ was around today do you think he would vote far left or far right? You know, “HE” who upturned tables of wealth and all and opened his arms with love to all humanity. The reason I ask is that I cannot understand how some pious preacher of Gods' word can quote both scripture and far right propaganda. Am I missing something?

    Far more importantly, however, is how in hell do you deep fry butter? How? Coming from the land of triple-frying in lard, I’m intrigued at this masterful skill and delicacy. This is a heart attack waiting to happen which means I’ll probably like it. Does it go well with ma frad pa ?

    I think the dog has everything under control in this situation.

  2. Blue Destroyer (LSP's Dog, sometimes called Blue Avenger, Blue [insert adjective], etc.) likes shooting almost too much.

    The government which govern's least governs best.

    I have never eaten deep fried butter and think that I'll pass on that delicacy.

  3. Once you go down the chicken fried steak road, you have to have all of the traditional sides or you dishonor all of the people that (chicken fried steak killed) that went before you.

  4. You still haven't gone into detail about fried butter. I have friends so I don't have to google things…sigh 🙂

  5. My GUESS (and that's all it is) is that they dip it in ultra cold nitrogen or something to get it very hard, then they do the batter thing and fry it. Then you eat the butter. Ok, you'd (a) have to really like butter (b) have very little pride to stand there munching 1/4 pound of butter in a public place. When people come up to you, you'd say "What? Haven't you ever seen somebody chow down a 1/4 pound of butter for desert?"

  6. I might have a bite but I'm not sure I could take a whole 1/4 pound of it down. I hope they serve it in newspaper.

  7. The frying thing is analogous to Scotland, where they have fried Mars bars, but I have to admit I haven't tried State Fair butter. And then there's Jesus. He was clearly against crooks and swindlers and had some stern words about greed.

    That'd put Hillary in the crosshairs, along with the rest of DC…

  8. No fried food in CA? No wonder they are so screwed up. Nothing mellows a dude and duddette out like a good deep fried meal with all the fixings. Food for the Gods!

  9. no nitrogen, just very cold on a stick. remember butter is cream. but I wouldn't eat it either.

    Not to speak for HIM, but presumably he would vote for the side of freedom and tolerance and allow the final judgment to be the judgment at the same time set n example with HIS life for others to follow. But he probably would cast a few bolts of lightening at abortion clinics when no one was home.

  10. Too many places deep fat fry their chicken fried steak. Proper prep is on a griddle. Only wimps pass on gravy on their potatoes. Best one I remember was in Denton, Texas. Sadly, the place is now closed.

  11. Ponder, outside of Denton, used to lay claim to the "best" — I don't know if that's true anymore.

  12. I've always felt that a gun rack is an essential part of any pickup truck with Texas license plates on it.

  13. Yes, and there is the nagging thought that he might actually be a bionically enhanced kill dog when firearms are discharged.

  14. I've been to that place in Ponder and it's very traditional and extremely popular. It's still in business, though WELL off the beaten path. You need a nav in your car to find it–trust me. When I went there, I was by myself and they looked at me as if I was nuts…mostly group eating since food is served family style. It was about an hour wait and I sat on the old metal tractor seats outside and chatted with others who were also waiting.

  15. Jules, it is served on a stick, and if you dig into it, I think that there is a cultural expectation that you finish it (or it's an insult to the Lone Star State – remember the Alamo and all that).

    LSP – When I was in Scotland, I went to a chippy and saw that they sold pizza. I didn't want the fried food so ordered it. They pulled a frozen pizza out of wherever, folded it in half and dropped it in the hot lard, cooking it. –true story.

    Kieth – I doubt that the murder of babies and sale of baby body parts for fun and profit would be something that HE would embrace the way that Hillary/Bernie do.

  16. Though you would like to see this. Is TN in your future, too?

  17. I like Tennessee, particularly the Old Smokey Mountains near Knoxville, which appeal to me at every possible level. I didn't know that they didn't have a state tax (like WY, NV, TX, FL, etc). That would be appealing.

    I knew Carl Karcher (founder of Carl's hamburgers), and his family as well. He was a genuine patriot, a VERY hard worker and a good man. I can't blame the company for leaving California. In-and-Out Hamburgers moved from CA to TX for the same reason.

  18. I like to go against the grain when it comes to cultural expectation but I'll give it a shot.

  19. If you should eat a quarter pound of deep fried butter, you'd barf. Discretion is often the better side of valor.

  20. Best chicken fried steak in the world is found in Texas. I think they invented it. Best chicken fried steak in Texas: both are in Tomball, TX. 1) Goodsons, I could just live off of the gravy. Ma Goodson used to feed the awl workers (or oil, for you Yankees) chicken fried steak and biscuits back in the day, the word spread. 2) Mel's, also in Tomball. A real dive, you might just break an axle driving over a pothole in their parking lot, but once inside the triple-wide restaurant, the chicken fried steak is to die for. The portions are guaranteed to shorten your lifespan by perhaps 5 years, just the way I like it.

  21. I've had deep fried Twinkies, deep fried Klondike Bars, and deep fried Snickers Bars. All have their charm. I do intend on trying that Scottish version, the deep fried Mars Bar. Right up my alley.

  22. I'll be in Houston in a couple of weeks. It's on my list of places to try now. I will render an opinion based on your excellent recommendation. Only the good die young, Fredd. That's why we're still around.

  23. But not the deep fried butter? If you plan to become a bonafide Texan, I think it's a condition for citizenship.

  24. At one time, not really all that long ago, just about anyone around here (Shasta County) with a pickup had a dog in the back and a rifle in the gun rack.
    The dogs aren't there because of some animal cruelty thing and the rifles have all been stolen.

  25. On Ralph Plaisted's 1967 trip to the North Pole they had sticks of butter to eat.
    The butter is high is calories for such a small amount of space and weight, minimal waste too . The butter was about the perfect food for that expedition.

  26. California has gone to pot. What sort of a world is it where a dog can't ride in the back of a pickup and people are discouraged from shooting car burglars?

  27. That's very interesting.

    Navy SEALs who are going to be in wet subs (MK-8 SDV's) drink syrup before going on long duration missions for much the same reason, prevention of hypothermia, etc.

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