You’ll Clean That Up Before You Leave!

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Today is open forum day. Try not to wreck the place in my absence.



Call Me Ambrose

A Non-Sequential Fictional Short


His mind told me that his name was Le Chou. Chou, he explained, meant leap over. I do a lot of that, so leap over made sense if I were to apply that name to myself. Then his brain explained that the other crew members called him Ambrose, which didn’t have any specific meaning that he was aware of. It was a name that he selected for himself. Given that I was searching for a name for myself, Ambrose would do as well as any name. I’m getting ahead of myself.

We watched as the ship from Earth entered orbit and waited before finally sending a landing craft to Planet 4 of 10, where we, too, established a colony. Whereas the Earthers required pressure suits, we did not. As you can tell, our brain, a jelly sac, is mated to a rigid-skinned twarch that moves us around. Anciently, we helped the twarch find food, and they, in turn, assisted us with the mobility we lacked, floating in the tidal currents of a vast salt ocean. Thus, our name Glar-twarch. Beyond that, we self-identify by brood, but it’s a very large number. Sentience came early, and space flight took two million more years. Sharing my individuality with the explorers/invaders from Earth required a recognizable name, so after I consumed Le Chou, I took Ambrose

Those of us who landed on Planet 4 had very little to do once we determined that it was nothing but barren rock, so we played a game called Space Invaders, in which tiny creatures dropped from orbit. None of them appeared as oddly as the Earthers turned out to be.  We initially discounted their nutritional value, but after we ate a few of them, there was a consensus that there wasn’t anything so delicious as human meat, fresh out of the can, which their craft resembled.

Eating human brains allowed us to understand their language, and it allowed me to decide on Ambrose. It wasn’t long before the decision was made to launch for Earth, which raised such delicious morsels. Even in our fastest ships, it took the Armada some time to arrive in orbit. I composed that first message of greeting myself. “We are the Glar-twarch and come in peace for all mankind.”


Bullet Points:

** “He has me, Race, use the bazooka!”

** Food Safety News revealed the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) will soon allow U.S. chickens to be sent to China for processing before being shipped back to the states for human consumption. With apologies to Wierd Al – “Did you ever think when you ate Chinese that it wasn’t pork or chicken, but a fat Siamese?”

** That Pesky Carbon Footprint –  (Bee) MARTHA’S VINEYARD — With the rest of the world expressing shock and horror at seeing video footage of a Haitian warlord eating the charred remains of his enemies, former Secretary of State John Kerry praised the Haiti cannibals for their efforts to reduce humanity’s carbon footprint.

The failed presidential candidate and current U.S. Special Presidential Envoy for Climate said the rest of the civilized world could learn a lesson or two from the violent group of armed Haitian gangs that have taken control of the Caribbean nation and the steps they have taken to address climate change. “It’s inspiring to see,” Kerry said in a statement from his Martha’s Vineyard estate. “Not only are these fellows reducing the overcrowdedness of the world’s human population, but they’ve also developed a sustainable food source that will lessen their dependence on livestock and farmed animals.

** MSNBC bragged, “Fani Willis can remain on Trump’s election case in Georgia, judge rules.” What a shocker. The judge is a former employee of Willis and donated to her campaign.

** KGO reported, “According to reports, four of the five Taco Bells in Oakland are now drive-thru only due to rising crime.” Who robs Taco Bell? It is the Dollar General store of fast food. But the negroes rob DG too.



Identify the Armor



Identify the Aircraft




It is under repair but still identifiable.



This is for LSP 

34 thoughts on “You’ll Clean That Up Before You Leave!

  1. (1) AMX-13 / SS-11
    (2) Bolkhovitinov S
    (3) Some kind of weird Tempest trainer, maybe?
    (4) IDK. Looks Italian. I think the wing loading is too high.
    (5) P-26 Peashooter and it’s driving me crazy, but I can’t remember.

    – Kle.

  2. Identify the Armor:
    1. AMX-13 with SS.11 AT missiles.

    Identify the Aircraft:
    2. Bolkhovitinov S
    3. Sea Fury T.61
    4. Henschel Hs 126
    5. Boeing Y1B-9A in formation with Boeing P-26

    1. Good call on the Henschel!

      It looked familiar, but w/o the wing on I could not figure it.

      – Kle.

      1. He worked for her and supported her campaign, never should have been presiding on the case (but the WH sanctioned the hit on Trump so rules don’t matter).

        The ‘in your face’ hubris requires a complimentary on steroids response.

        1. In the old days – so we’re going back pre-Obama, before the Half-Blood Prince was in office – judges – even liberal judges – recused themselves as a matter of course if they had a conflict. Not to do so would bring a censure and mistrial. Today things are different. I don’t know if they can ever go back the way they were. It’s easy to throw rocks at Pedo Joe/Ho but remember that this is the third term of Barack and Big Mike.

  3. I demand Climate Equity! I should be able to leave a carbon trail as big as John Kerry’s ego. Can you’ll send me a couple million Biden bucks? Private jet travel is outta my current build back better budget. TY. I’ll have to find another chicken outlet now that D.C. has decided to send ours to the dogs.

    1. I don’t think that there is a carbon trail as big as Kerry’s ego in the galaxy. And I don’t think that there is anyone more corrupt than Kerry. As corrupt, yes, more corrupt? It would take a lot of convincing.

  4. Dept. of Ag- Another idiotic example of government uselessness (How many are actual farmers?….let me guess: NONE.) How is running our chickens to Chy-Nah for “processing” then have them shipped back for American consumption “green”? (Same as lithium for EV batteries…it’s not). But…go to an island or Meh-he-Co for vacation and accidentally try to bring a lemon back and they drag you through the mill for banned contraband like you’re a cocaine smuggler. Typical government over-regulation overkill. When you’re the Mafia-Style Framing Hammer, everything looks like a finish nail needing pounding.

    Where is all this “Chy-Nah love” coming from and why? Is it covering for The Husk and a few others? Not adding up as they are [now all of a sudden] decrying TikTok out the other sides of their collective mouths, which isn’t Chy-Nah owned. Another deflection distraction.

    The Left and Statue removal- Not how anyone’s life is better with them removed (which is disgusting and demented), but the Brain-washed FEEL better…with the feminization of America over a few decades, “feelings” trump everything rational and decent…just ask them.

    1. The Chinese, strange as it may seem, are pro-Trump. I spend a lot of time engaged with the Chinese and with Chinese issues as a matter of business and 100% of them are pro-Trump. I’ve asked why and they really didn’t like the Magic Negro, for a number of reasons including that he was queer. In the case of Trump, they dealt with him and knew where they stood. Nobody knows for sure who is running the present regime (including me – do you know?) so policy is all over the board. Biden clearly doesn’t run anything and neither does the Ho.

      1. That makes more sense, and I implicitly trust your direct impression from your travels and interaction than anything the media or DC puts out. Appreciate the clarification, and good to know they respected Trump (whereas they own Biden and a few – maybe quite a few – others).

  5. Since this is an open forum, which contributed more to the development of civilization, the invention of the wheel or the invention of rope?

  6. STYX didn’t perform that song for years once Dennis DeYoung left. Just started performing it again a couple years ago.
    Dennis has been doing it with his new band for years and it seems like he hasn’t aged.
    Shame him and Tommy Shaw couldn’t drop their feud

  7. Not at all originally Chinese:
    “An open forum is strongly akin to an alligator’s jaws.”
    a link to today’s treehouse:
    seems Vladimir Vladimirovich (whether you love him, hate him, or, per Elie Weisel, are indifferent) is running a democracy; what are we running?

  8. I like your open forum. A gathering place for informed and articulate malcontents. I’m here only as a malcontent trying to keep my place in the line for a bunk next to the stove.

  9. open forum. huh? dangerous things, open fora.
    in re pussification of the Armed Forces:
    the number of Roman mātrēs around today approaches zero (probably’s already there in the coastal states)

    1. Things will get interesting when certain culinary cultures discover that the twarch taste like chickens feet and the glar like boiled okra.

  10. Caught a little bit of Levin, speaking (more like yelling as he does when making a strong point) about TikTok…he said as I believe LL stated, that despite the company being owned by 60% of international businessman/interests, and despite the data center being located in Texas, that the data collected is wholly mined by the Chinese Military for purposes of undermining and spying on America. He cited a web news outlet but forgot the name. He about blew a gasket when talking of Rand Paul’s comments and the feckless in Congress who are only now making a stink about the platform when they allowed this to go on for years. Had to turn the volume down when he was screaming about them cherry-picking what to allow vs. not, which to normal thinking people shows significant bias depending on who’s in bed with who or who’s ox is getting gored (same story, same type of poseurs, different era and tech).

    The ONLY way I see to eliminate the social media rot & data mining is to use platforms not in bed with domestic or foreign entities (FB, IG, TT, Google). It may take a year or two to detox the masses, especially those whose income is derived from their online “presence” (assuming that is even a plausible goal). But minimally de-platforming the platform could put a dent in the influence, especially if a new platform comes along that is better (and there is always a better mousetrap), especially if content can be ported.

    Found it interesting how ones perspective changes when more accurate information becomes available…mine has nearly come full circle (not that I agree with the way Congress is going about it…but they are goofballs so fully expected them to approach this stupidly).

  11. I love this post for its opening SPACE WAR infographic, and such an enjoyable “short.” I thought this stood out:

    “Eating human brains allowed us to understand their language”


  12. LL,
    Might your rust belt tour bring you to yipsi? Or Yipsitucky as it was known locally, US23 being the “hillbilly highway” of song.
    While I haven’t lived there for decades, my family settled near Tecumseh in the mid 1800’s . Might you have ties to that corner
    Of Michigan? “Remember the Raisin”

  13. Nobody knows for sure who is running the present regime

    Bill Clinton’s favorite college professor, Carroll Quigley, was a historian at the Georgetown School of Foreign Service, which teaches diplomats. Quigley wrote Tragedy and Hope, a 1,600 page daily time log of American movers and shakers. Each of these important people represented and horsetraded between interest groups. I believe today’s answer to “who is running things” is a similar situation to that documented in Tragedy and Hope.

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