Today’s Schedule

Blog Post
Fredd is boycotting viewing the DNC, and some of the rest of you may be as well, but the line-up of speakers and topics will be epic in their scope.

Democrat Convention Schedule
Monday, July 25, 2016

11:15 AM
Free lunch, medical marijuana, and bus ride to the Convention
Forms distributed for Food Stamp enrollment.

1:30 PM
Group Voter Registration for Illegal Immigrants.
2:00 PM
“God Damn America”
Invocation by Dr. Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Pastor to Barack

2:30 PM A Tearful Good-Bye
Debbie Wasserman Schultz

3:15 PM
Address on “Being the Real You”
Rachel Dolezal, former Head of the Seattle NAACP

4:30 PM
“How to Bank $200 Million as a Public Servant and claim to be broke”
Hillary Clinton

5:00 PM “How you can have a Penis and still be First Lady”
Michelle Obama

5:30 PM Make America Great Again: Sanders has a new Slogan
Bernie Sanders and his original idea.

6:00 PM
General vote on praising Baltimore rioters, And on using the terminology, “Alternative Shoppers” instead of “Looters”
8:30 PM

Guest of Honor, HRC and her band of flying

The White House “Semantics Committee” Meeting: General vote on re-branding “Muslim Terrorism” as “Random Acts of Islamic Over-Exuberance”

9:15 PM
Tribute Film to the Brave Freedom Fighters Still incarcerated at GITMO
Michael Moore
11:00 PM
Short film, “Setting Up Your Own Illegal Email Server While Serving in A Cabinet Post and How to Pretend It’s No Big Deal”
Hosted by Hillary Clinton
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
Group BLM chant (replacing the pledge of allegiance)…”pigs in a blanket”.

1:00 PM

How to have a successful career without ever having a job, and still avoid paying taxes!
A Seminar Moderated by Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson

2:00 PM
Medal of Freedom presentation to Army deserter Bo Bergdahl For serving with Honor and Distinction
National Security Advisor Susan Rice

3:30 PM
Invitation-only Autograph Session Souvenir photographs of Hillary and Chelsea dodging Sniper Fire in Bosnia

3:45 PM
Seminar: Why Life is ONLY Unfair to Women
The Sisters of Perpetual Grievance

4:00 PM
Breakout session with Bill Clinton for women on avoiding the upcoming draft – how pleasing the “first husband” can fix that pesky problem.
This training session includes cigars and real world experience using them.

4:30 PM
Breakout session “My Passion for Fashion”

5:00 PM
Liberal Bias in Media: How we can make it work for you!
Tutorial sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, PBS, The Washington Post and the New York Times — Guest Speaker, Heroic War Correspondent, Brian Williams

6:45 PM
Personal Finance Seminar – “Businesses Don’t Create Jobs”
Sen. Elizabeth (Pocahontas) Warren

7:15 PM
ObamaCare: Keeping your own Doctor

8:00 PM “I Grope Because I Care”
VP Joe (Slow Joe) Biden

11:00 PM
Official Nomination of Hillary
Bill Maher and Chris Matthews

26 thoughts on “Today’s Schedule

  1. Oh, HELL yes. I'm watching that s&#t! Funniest schedule I've ever seen, LL! Did you just crib the outline from Dinesh D'Souza's movie? Looks like you covered more ground, actually.

  2. Must-See TV…

    It's the cross between a snake-oil show and a three ring circus with a steam calliope — bearded ladies, freaks, two-headed goats, the whole shebang.

  3. Somewhere in there should be a guest appearance by Paul Ryan (to show unity) to lecture on "How to build a wall around your estate while voting for open borders"

  4. This is, unfortunately, an accurate schedule.

    By the way, I wouldn't even pay $138 for that potato sack that Hillary wore. I guess that's my white privilege speaking.

  5. How to build a bridge over your high locked gate (that leads to the gator pit) while voting for open borders…

  6. You could use it to replace your the old vacuum bag on your hoover, and I think that's about $138.

  7. Throwing people out of helicopters used to be a means to get the person next to them to talk. In Hillary's case, I'd just toss her and watch the pantsuit flutter all the way down.

  8. That's what I recall it looking like as they pirouetted down into the triple canopy from 3000 ft without a chute. When it came for the next guy's turn, it amazingly resulted in some clear, concise and comprehensive dialog.

    On shipboard, you didn't have to do that. Just open a hatch to the outside of the carrier, show them the ocean and ask how long they could tread water, or if they wanted you to open a vein so that the sharks could end the speculation for them.

    Of course you know I'm kidding about all this.

  9. Admire your fight spirit to watch and report so the rest of us don't need to wreck our eyeballs.

  10. Hold on there. I'm not watching the DNC. I may listen to a summary on the O'Reilly Factor or some such while fast forwarding through anything that Barack or Hillary have to say (unless they're resigning – I'd listen to that).

    I'm not THAT altruistic. I posted a schedule so you all would know what was going on. That's the extent of my community service spirit.

  11. I can always use old filthy rugs to use out in the garage, to change oil on, and such. But $138 is too much, and I'd have to get an exorcism first. My truck is possessed enough as it is.

  12. Rush promised to watch and tell us about it so we don't have to watch. I'll be listening to Rush tomorrow and not the DNC tonight.

  13. I'm sure that if you donated more of your money to the Clinton Foundation that Hillary would be able to dress better.

  14. The Sanders people (now they're REALLY FED UP) may provide you with plenty of fodder.

  15. I'm sure that the Hollywood people are still solidly behind her because they paid good money for her.

  16. hahahaha – I think that the progs would tell you that all you're feeling is hope and change.

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