The Muslim Next Door

Blog Post
Actual Incident:

Mohammad -the Muslim next door
About five days ago, a man identifying himself as “Mohammad” came to my door and told me that he was my rear neighbor – diagonally to the south. Apparently his back yard shares about 6′ of fence with mine. 
When he came to the door, I answered it wearing my “God will judge my enemies, I’ll arrange the meetingwith a viking on it — t-shirt. I didn’t put it on for Mohammad, I just wore it. I also wear my Crye Precision “GUNS KILL hippies” t-shirt around and my Molan Labe t-shirt.
Mohammad wanted to repair his side of the fence and wanted to notify me. I wasn’t aware that there was anything wrong with the fence, but said, “go for it.” Mohammed said that he would come by and give me legal papers to sign authorizing the work. I told him that I’d look at his papers, but that I didn’t care what he did on his side of the fence. (There’s usually a lot of annoying music coming from the place during Eid and Ramadan in general)

There is a mosque down the street and since it went in, the number of Muslims moving into the neighborhood has increased. Mohammad (not the prophet of the Qur’an – just to keep this in context – only a local Muslim with the same name) is apparently a recent arrival.

I live in a quiet neighborhood but there have been burglaries from vehicles in the area. The Police Department put a “bait car” on my street. Since my son-in-law is the Police Officer who patrols the area where I live, I’m usually kept up to speed.

I’m not particularly Islamophobic, but I am usually tactically aware. Two days ago, I left my house in the morning and noticed a man slouched behind the wheel of a car that I didn’t recognize across the street from my house and north. I drove away, looped around and came up on the car on foot. 

Yeah, it was Mohammad, staked out on my house. I tapped the passenger side window with my left fist. The right fist was wrapped around pistol grips that Mohammad didn’t see. Startled, he started the engine and drove away. 
Yesterday I saw the shifty Mohammad doing the same thing from a different angle, on the south side this time. As with the previous day, I simply jumped some fences of friendly neighbors and came up behind him, and tapped on his window with a tomahawk this time. Mohammad drove away. 
This morning, my immediate next-door neighbor to the north, a police sergeant from a city in the region where I live came by and said that Mohammad came by and knocked on his door, wanting advice as to how to approach the wicked infidel (that would be me) to get legal permission to work on the fence. The sergeant/neighbor suggested that Mohammad not %$#@ with me because I wash my hair in the blood of my enemies. He said that Mohammad reacted to that.

The sergeant/neighbor simply quoted me – because I have told ardent suitors chasing my four lovely daughters that if they screwed with my kids, I’d wash my hair in their blood. I don’t use blood to wash my hair – just shampoo that I buy at the market. It’s just a metaphor.

Apparently Mohammad called the police department and the area car went by to speak with him. Since that officer knows me personally, he confirmed what the sergeant/neighbor said and advised Mohammad to simply do what he needed to do on his side of the fence and leave me alone. The area car officer came by and let me know what was going on. I advised him that Mohammad has been Code 5 on my house and that those attentions were unwanted. He laughed and asked if I approached Mohammad’s car holding one of my tomahawks (the local officers know that I’m fond of axes). I confirmed that it happened just the way that Mohammad described. The officer said, “Mohammad literally shat himself.” I replied, “good”.
So I don’t know where it will go from here. Maybe Mohammad will call Obama. Maybe Mohammad will call CAIR. Maybe Mohammad will call the local mullah. Or maybe he’ll simply repair the fence (that looks ok to me) on his side of the property line and will leave me alone.

Update —  In related news today, Muslims attack and hack a man to death in London as part of their jihad.

This happened in a street in London today. The victim didn’t have a handgun to protect himself. Fortunately there is still a Second Amendment and a Bill of Rights in many (but clearly not all) US States.

29 thoughts on “The Muslim Next Door

  1. I hope that Mohammad simply slithers back to his home and does what he plans to do (so long as it's to code) on his side of the property. My sense is that between my approach to the potential threat, the neighbor and the police officer, he understands that I would prefer not to be disturbed or surveilled.

    There is another house (about 5 north of Mohammad's) who are Shiites. I believe that Mohammad is a Sunni. We had a problem with them four or five years ago. They were engaging a religious celebration long into the night. At about 3 am, I went over and knocked on the door. One of their number threatened to kill me. I walked to the sidewalk, called the police. They came. I said that I'd press charges for disturbing the peace and would sign the complaint and suggested that the officers seize the band's instruments as fruits and instrumentalities of the crime of disturbing the peace.

    The band didn't feel that was appropriate and got frosty with the police. About a dozen of the faithful ended up going to jail for various crimes. Since then, the parties held at that residence usually end at about midnight and everyone leaves them alone in return.

    Maybe I've seen the last of Mohammad — or maybe not.

    Mohammad is new to the neighborhood. The report taken by the area car used Mohammad's statements to indicate that he'd been stalking me (a crime in California). It remains to be seen as to whether detectives file the misdemeanor with the District Attorney or not.

  2. LL: Thank you for that story. I got a great belly laugh from it. Made my day.

  3. The scheming little shit is somewhat comedic, but I don't take any tactical situation for granted.

  4. That's messed up. I'd tell you to watch out for yourself, but I know I don't have to :)

  5. This is what triggered my happy outburst:

    The officer said, "Mohammad literally shat himself."

  6. Meat cleavers? Good thing there were no guns involved in the London attack. Things could have gotten ugly. (/sarcasm)

  7. An armed public would have solved the jihadi's dilemma of how best to get to heaven, the river of honey and the 70 virgins.

  8. I have the idea that Mohamymammy has NO idea what he's doing, nor with whom he wishes to dance. Poor guy.

  9. Scary all of this… even more so now that people seem much more interested in filming what ever is going down than helping the victim.

  10. Hmmm… I don't like the sound of Mohammed and his made up fence story! I laughed at your axe wielding!

    Yeah…there's a lot of 'Hate' in our neck of the woods over the brutal murder of the soldier yesterday. Think there's going to be some backlash to that. What annoys me is that the murderers are now being treated in hospital! Why? Why should tax payers fund that! Oh to be a nurse…Ratched style. But then , I guess prison for someone who has brutally killed a soldier on his own turf is going to be a lot more torturous.

  11. Watch your six – first reports were that the jihadists in London hit the soldier with the car?

    The most frustrating thing about that was the UNARMED people milling about. This is the answer to all those who want to bring up lack of gun-violence across the pond. If that would have happened in, lets say Oklahoma…

  12. That's an interesting observation and it was my first thought. The victim, a soldier, is bleeding out and all people can do is pop out cell phones and photograph it.

  13. Juliette, I do understand that the concept of an armed society is scoffed at in the UK. But maybe this can underscore why Americans don't want to give up their right to be armed.

  14. If it would have happened in Oklahoma or Idaho, the terrorists would have been wiped out by the people passing by, giving the police the opportunity to simply roll the fire department for a wash-down of terrorist blood and a meat wagon to haul their carcasses to the morgue.

    There is a reason why an armed society is so very important. I know that it's lost on politicians who surround themselves with armed guards…

  15. Sounds to me like you provided this guy with a little religion he wasn't used to.

  16. I laughed because of the way you wrote this–such a great way with words, but I'm glad you are alert and not taking anything for granted.

    It's too strange that we would stake out your house–twice. Why, if you'd already told him to do whatever w/his side of the fence? And then use the fence as an excuse when he spoke with the police? Sounds fishy to me.

  17. Since he's new to the neighborhood, I think that he simply needed a primer on how things work.

  18. The first time was fishy, the second time, I took as a threat whether he meant it that way or not. Fishy indeed. It underscores the need for tactical awareness.

  19. Yeah, in this instance a gun may have stopped this vicious bastard in his tracks. The only problem is, give guns out and you've got to rely on the trigger happy nutters not to blow you away just because they can. It's a contentious issue.

  20. The opposition know who you are, evidently. Stay safe out there, ok?

  21. As long as you act like a crazy "cowboy" you'll be ok.
    But, watch out for the unseen and the unexpected.
    I worked at night alone in some decadent buildings and neighborhoods, and unarmed-so to speak (long screwdrivers and walking sticks).
    Was always looking for the unexpected; thus giving me the drop on things more than once or twice.

  22. An armed society is a polite society. In the US, states with the most draconian laws regarding firearms have the highest crime rates. Coincidence?

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