About five days ago, a man identifying himself as “Mohammad” came to my door and told me that he was my rear neighbor – diagonally to the south. Apparently his back yard shares about 6′ of fence with mine.
When he came to the door, I answered it wearing my “God will judge my enemies, I’ll arrange the meeting” with a viking on it — t-shirt. I didn’t put it on for Mohammad, I just wore it. I also wear my Crye Precision “GUNS KILL hippies” t-shirt around and my Molan Labe t-shirt.
Mohammad wanted to repair his side of the fence and wanted to notify me. I wasn’t aware that there was anything wrong with the fence, but said, “go for it.” Mohammed said that he would come by and give me legal papers to sign authorizing the work. I told him that I’d look at his papers, but that I didn’t care what he did on his side of the fence. (There’s usually a lot of annoying music coming from the place during Eid and Ramadan in general)
There is a mosque down the street and since it went in, the number of Muslims moving into the neighborhood has increased. Mohammad (not the prophet of the Qur’an – just to keep this in context – only a local Muslim with the same name) is apparently a recent arrival.
I live in a quiet neighborhood but there have been burglaries from vehicles in the area. The Police Department put a “bait car” on my street. Since my son-in-law is the Police Officer who patrols the area where I live, I’m usually kept up to speed.
I’m not particularly Islamophobic, but I am usually tactically aware. Two days ago, I left my house in the morning and noticed a man slouched behind the wheel of a car that I didn’t recognize across the street from my house and north. I drove away, looped around and came up on the car on foot.
Yeah, it was Mohammad, staked out on my house. I tapped the passenger side window with my left fist. The right fist was wrapped around pistol grips that Mohammad didn’t see. Startled, he started the engine and drove away.
Yesterday I saw the shifty Mohammad doing the same thing from a different angle, on the south side this time. As with the previous day, I simply jumped some fences of friendly neighbors and came up behind him, and tapped on his window with a tomahawk this time. Mohammad drove away.
This morning, my immediate next-door neighbor to the north, a police sergeant from a city in the region where I live came by and said that Mohammad came by and knocked on his door, wanting advice as to how to approach the wicked infidel (that would be me) to get legal permission to work on the fence. The sergeant/neighbor suggested that Mohammad not %$#@ with me because I wash my hair in the blood of my enemies. He said that Mohammad reacted to that.
The sergeant/neighbor simply quoted me – because I have told ardent suitors chasing my four lovely daughters that if they screwed with my kids, I’d wash my hair in their blood. I don’t use blood to wash my hair – just shampoo that I buy at the market. It’s just a metaphor.
Apparently Mohammad called the police department and the area car went by to speak with him. Since that officer knows me personally, he confirmed what the sergeant/neighbor said and advised Mohammad to simply do what he needed to do on his side of the fence and leave me alone. The area car officer came by and let me know what was going on. I advised him that Mohammad has been Code 5 on my house and that those attentions were unwanted. He laughed and asked if I approached Mohammad’s car holding one of my tomahawks (the local officers know that I’m fond of axes). I confirmed that it happened just the way that Mohammad described. The officer said, “Mohammad literally shat himself.” I replied, “good”.
So I don’t know where it will go from here. Maybe Mohammad will call Obama. Maybe Mohammad will call CAIR. Maybe Mohammad will call the local mullah. Or maybe he’ll simply repair the fence (that looks ok to me) on his side of the property line and will leave me alone.
Update — In related news today, Muslims attack and hack a man to death in London as part of their jihad.
This happened in a street in London today. The victim didn’t have a handgun to protect himself. Fortunately there is still a Second Amendment and a Bill of Rights in many (but clearly not all) US States.