I expect to be visiting Texas for work before the end of the year. Another walk-about, chatting with equipment vendors and scoping out new potential part and process suppliers for my flying saucer business. As part of that adventure, I plan to see the sights and buy a few things to stimulate the economy.

Sam Houston’s famous horse skeleton:

Tourists from the big cities of the nation are said to congregate here and take 
photos of what remains of the great man’s huge horse. Locals charge $1 per photo.
I call that a bargain!

Christmas Shopping for people on the naughty list: Barney Smith’s Toilet Seat Museum & Emporium in San Antonio is another must-see. I spoke to a friend from San Antone and he said that I should call first to make sure that Barney’s museum is open. All too often these days the lid is closed. Barney makes plaques from the seats. Used toilet seats are free, so all of his sweat equity is value added. They are in demand and I know of a few people who should be awarded a used toilet seat with some writing on it — as a tribute of sorts. 
Used urinals are too heavy to give as gifts. They’re hard to lug around. Trust a Texan to solve the problem of what to give the person who has absolutely everything.  These would be perfect for Darwin Awards. Just thinking in print, folks. 
This same friend from San Antonio that recommended the toilet seats is an active duty US Air Force general. There are a LOT of generals in the air force, as I continually point out to him – and there are a lot of them in Texas. Usually I would not acknowledge a friendship with a zoomie because it makes me look bad, but I saved him (mumbles) years ago when he ejected over a country he wasn’t supposed to be flying over and that made us reluctant friends – and he buys stakes and beer when we meet, so yeah, I’ll have supper with him. By the way, the world’s largest cowboy boots are in San Antonio. (right)
It’s not on my bucket list, BUT – There is the barbed wire museum (Devil’s Rope Museum) in McLean, TX. I’ve never been there. I may not go there on this trip, but if I do, visiting a barbed wire museum would be a first for me in a life that I thought would have no more “firsts.”

RELATED ARTICLESMORE FROM AUTHOR

24 COMMENTS

  1. Larry? Do you want to employ me? I'd make a wicked assistant and I think your daughter needs a rest! What about Aldershot!!!

    I want one of those toilet seats.

  4. Jules, if I dared employ you, I fear that I'd end up working for you… ;^) The Aldershot trip had to be put off for reasons that have to do with business but it's not dead. Only on hold.

  8. And Hawaii – which perplexes people even more than Texas. My son-in-law asked for an explanation of Hawaii. I said, "Mexicans living on an Island". He replied, "Ah, of course".

  12. Ha! I hadn't heard of the toilet seat museum!
    Be braced for the powerful force that is Texas. You might never return to CA! (I mean, why would anyone leave once they're here?)

  18. I was led to believe that the toilet seat museum in San Antonio was a major tourist destination…like the Alamo, only not as large.

  19. The Alamo, in real life, is astonishingly small. Or perhaps its size shocked this girl who was raised believing everything's huge in Texas — which I expected would surely apply to something so heavily emphasized in all my history classes. Still, an excellent visit.
    And the museum might be a major tourist destination! I don't know. Frankly, I'm surprised it's not in Austin.
    I did once decorate a [very clean] toilet for an art project in college that I decided to take an ironic approach to. (–which is somehow relevant to the current conversation.)
    Go Texas!

  20. I'm not surprised that you decorated a toilet seat. It would seem to be popular in Texas…after all there is a museum to that lost art.

    I will buy a cowboy hat for the occasion and may need to buy matching boots.

  21. Of course you need to buy boots when you're in Texas. Of COURSE.
    obvious.
    (Being an overachiever, it was an ENTIRE toilet, btw.)

Comments are closed.