News of the Weird

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Sometimes the news is weird and sometimes you think you’re reading a Monte Python script.

Woman Dies After Waking Up at 
Her Own Funeral (LINK) in Russia

Fagilyu Mukhametzyanov (age 49) (pictured above, with her husband on a better day) woke up in a funeral home and found herself laying in a coffin, surrounded by grieving relatives, praying her soul from hell.

She began to scream as it sunk in that they were getting ready to bury her. Apparently Fagilyu became so agitated by the circumstances that she induced a heart attack. Her loving friends and family rushed her to the local hospital in Kazan, Russia…but she didn’t make it. Doctors pronounced her genuinely dead at the scene.

(LINK) “Her eyes fluttered and we immediately rushed her back to the hospital,” her husband Fagili, 51, said. “But she only lived another 12 minutes before she died again, this time for good.” He said: “I am very angry and want some answers. She wasn’t dead when they said she was and they could have saved her.”

There is a lesson here. If you are in Russia and they say you’re dead, friends and relatives should confirm that before they plant you in the ground to enjoy your eternal rest. ONLY in Chicago are the dead allowed to rise (and vote) before returning to the earth.

7 thoughts on “News of the Weird

  1. I guess they aren't required to have the body embalmed like we have to do here in GA.

  2. I remember reading about nail-scratch marks on the insides of coffins. A bad sign….

  3. Race – Dead is like horseshoes and hand grenades…you are or you're not.

    Coffeypot – I think that they're Muslims and they get planted same day, no embalming.

    Opus #6 – They used to put bells on coffins so they'd ring if the person wasn't really dead —- up to the point where they buried them. After that, it's the scratch marks.

  4. It is obviously a good thing to be embalmed. When that machine starts drawing out your blood and injecting the pickle juice, you're going to be dead positively absolutely. Reminds me of the Vincent Price horror movie….! – Charlene

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