Looking for Work? Try TSA

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A lot of people have been critical of the Transportation Security Administration lately. I have a different take on the whole thing and am considering applying for a job at TSA. Some of you may be shocked, but the new guidelines offer some perks when you’re on the front lines – with nothing between you and a potential international terrorist but your gloved (and sensuous) hands. The TSA Agents at right are wearing no gloves and one wonders what they’re looking at?
Since implementing the procedures, numerous complaints have arisen that the search is not a “pat-down” but rather feeling and grabbing along a person’s genitalia and other areas until they ‘meet resistance’. Critics have said the pat-downs would be considered sexual assault if performed elsewhere. What’s not to love about a job like that one?

If you were a TSA Officer, which woman would you prefer to pat down — thoroughly?





Vote with your comments. You may vote as often as you like (Chicago Rules!)

Homeland Security (LINK) has indicated the government is considering the request of an Islamic organization that has suggested Muslim women be allowed to pat themselves down during a full body search that is part of new enhanced procedures at airports. One may opine that Muslim women may get carried away touching themselves – security officers need to stand by vigilantly and make sure that they’re stopped if they begin to enjoying it too much. (LINK here)


Yes, it can be a demanding job – at times the ladies may not even thank you for your thorough pat down. Others may tip you – but it’s unethical to take a tip from a lady you just frisked according to Department of Homeland Security guidelines. You can only take money in that way if you’re Congressman Charlie Rangle (D-NY), Chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee.

Remember, they pat you down–thoroughly–because they care so much about YOU and your needs.

11 thoughts on “Looking for Work? Try TSA

  1. I worked for TSA from Dec '03 to Feb 04 at Ft Lauderdale Airport. Worst. F&*^% Job. Ever. The Supervisors and for that matter the AIrport TSA higher ups all seemed to be former Mall Security gettin' in on the good deal. Most of the people were trying to do a good job for our Country's security. Some just wanted to get in on the Gubmint payroll.

    Anything else I might say would be seen as negative. I try to keep a friendly face for these folks, it's a tough job and our loser political leadership don't make any of it easy.

    As for the latest nonsense; There really are people out there who want to curtail American freedoms and they will do it a little at a time, for our "own good".

  2. I don't fly on a plane anymore. I haven't since 1998. Now as to flying with a broom, well you'll just have to hang around and see if that happens.

    The US needs to put money into training TSA security in the ways of telling if a person is lying. Take a clue from Israel.

  3. I demand to be patted down by a female. Lesbian, don't matta.

    But seriously, this country could f* up a wet dream any more. It's getting embarrassing to be American.
    The UK has been dealing with this a lot longer than us and they somehow still manage to make a traveler NOT feel like a criminal.

  4. We could scan the luggage to hell and back and put 2 air marshalls on every flight and STILL save 99% of the cost over the cost of running TSA.

  5. I've flown through Europe and they treat passengers with 100% more respect than they do in the US. I'm sure TSA will tell us that European passengers aren't safe — but then again nobody has hijacked their aircraft either.

  6. I just got my application filed out and handed in.

    I would rather pat down #2 because she looks like she'd pat back.

  7. Since implementing the procedures, numerous complaints have arisen that the search is not a “pat-down” but rather feeling and grabbing along a person’s genitalia and other areas until they 'meet resistance'.

    ..according to that criteria, those folks could poke and prod me all day long and not meet any substantial resistance on my shriveled up old person.

    Hey, that's why they got all those infomercials on late night TV; 'cause of us old codgers.

    And, no kid, I am not talking about Sham Wow! You'll find out in about 40 years or so what I a talking about.

  8. Going to fly back to Europe Dec 1. My mom's freaking out about this TSA thing. I guess it's the price we pay. Wish I had a yacht or raft to avoid the airlines.
    Why isn't my picture on the lust list? ha ha

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