Fruitcake – Christmas Eve

Blog Post
You might think from the title of this blog post, that I’ve come up with a new name for President Obama, who is gleefully anticipating his political victory as the nation slides over the “fiscal cliff”. Who would call the President a name like that? It’s absurd when you think about it. A fruitcake has nuts. 
Yes, I digressed. Back to our theme.
There is only one time each year when people send other people that they actually like, food like a fruitcake (shelf life = that of a Twinkie, if Twinkies still existed, and thanks to their labor union, they don’t).
Yes, with the demise of the Twinkie, the only food remaining that will survive the apocalypse and sustain survivors is the fruitcake. That’s why people send them. Why else?
Then again, some people may be trying to save our ailing Postal Service because they are frigging heavy as bricks and they are expensive to send. And the fruitcake is one of those gifts that is frequently re-gifted, making it a double dip for the US Postal Service. Those that arrive safely at a home where they may not be re-gifted, often make their way to landfills, there to wait for the apocalypse when zombie scavengers will unearth them – two or three hundred years later – to find that they taste the same as the day that the trash truck hauled them away from the people who tossed them.
I shamelessly stole the YouTube video (below) from Race Bannon’s Blog (Race for Justice) because there are pretenders out there who feel that the fruitcake and Twinkies dating back to the ObamaNation years will not be the only thing that will survive the ‘end of the world’.

12 thoughts on “Fruitcake – Christmas Eve

  1. A hollowed out fruitcake is a great place to store last ditch survival equipment too. Should you be overrun by looters, it will remain undisturbed.

    Merry Christmas to you, LL!

  2. Paladin – just when I thought you were completely insane, you come up with a plan that is ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT! (ho – ho – ho – Merry Christmas)

  3. If you strain it out to recover the rum and blackstrap molasses I think that you have "grog", the drink served by the Royal Navy during the 19th century. If you eat enough fruitcake, you will definitely get groggy. Better on New Years than on Christmas.

  4. LOL, actually there ARE a few good fruitcakes… 🙂 Rum included… Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours!

  5. I don't recall seeing people of color rushing to the Fruitcake Store to buy one to send to their relatives. I'm sure that it happens. Doesn't it?

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