Twitter hash tag #AlQaedaTipsToAvoidDrones
I’ll try to summarize here what you should do to avoid being spotted by a US Government drone aircraft.
- Anywhere in Benghazi because the official USGOV position is, “What difference does it make?”
- Hang out with Beyonce and JayZ.
- Sleep with Sandra Fluke. Nobody has been able to find those guys.
- Just walk out on the balcony, put up that double barreled shotgun and fire two blasts outside the house.
- Hide out in an American Consulate, it will be at least 8 hours before anyone shows up…
- Whistle, vomit, urinate, or scream that you have a yeast infection.
- Hang around underage Dominican prostitutes.
- Wear an SEIU hoodie.
- Position yourself to intimidate people at a voting place wearing a Black Panther uniform.
- Move in with Obama’s illegal alien aunt in Boston.
- Pretend to be an Obama Czar – there are so many of them that nobody will know whether you are or arn’t.
- Post a sign that says, “Drone Free Zone”
- Do NOT show up in New York City holding a 16 oz styrofoam cup.
- Getting a federal “green energy” loan and then declaring bankruptcy makes one completely invisible.
- Get in a line at DMV. By the time you emerge, drones will be obsolete.
- Refer to yourself as “middle class”. Everyone will claim to be you.
- Have MSNBC build a show around you. Only 4 people will know where you are.
- Hide out in the church that Obama attends – nobody knows where it is.
- Hide out in Rev. Sharpton’s church (same as #18)
- Dress up in a Wookie costume.
Twitter hash tag #ThingsyouwillneverhearObamaSay
You will never overhear President Obama saying any of these things.
- “I take full responsibility for… [insert anything here].”
- I think we are stealing from our children & future generations. The frivolous spending has to stop!”
- Like JFK, I will be giving my salary back to the Treasury.
- “Wherever the real power in a Government lies, there is the danger of oppression.” — James Madison
- I can’t take credit for this nation’s successes bc it’s not mine to take.
- Dump my coverage. I’m signing up for ObamaCare.
- I know who Larry Sinclair is.
- Jerusalem is the capital of Israel.
- I won’t take another vacation until unemployment drops to below 6%.
- Cancel my tee time, I have to work.
- There are enough people on food stamps.
- I was stoned when I nominated Hagel.
- Giving away F-16’s to our enemies is a bad idea.
- Harry, get a budget to the floor!
- Black folks need to get off welfare and get a job.
- I want to be interviewed by Glenn Beck.
- I insist on travelling on the SAME jet as Michelle from now on when we vacation together!
- I’m going to put the bust of Winston Churchill back in the Oval Office.
- You have a right to keep as much of your hard earned money as possible.
- I appreciate the Secret Service for keeping me safe.