Why is North Korea Targeting San Antonio, Texas?

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Governor Rick Perry feels that the North Korean plan to attack Texas is simply another form of flattery. You can read about it on Politico. The UK Telegraph suggests that North Korea is targeting Texas for obliteration because Kim holds a grudge against George W. Bush.
There are a few unique things about San Antonio. 
The map above is for US consumption and shows the targets that the DPRK
wants to hit with nuclear weapons. One of those is San Antonio, Texas, not
Austin, as has been reported in the US media. (comment North Korean generals
need to get BIGGER hats. I think that they are ‘compensating’.)
(1) Every Mexican drug cartel has more than one nice home in San Antonio. It is the US destination of choice for narcos who want to cool off or who want to move their families somewhere safe. Since so many rival cartels have antipathy toward each other , it’s odd that so many have chosen San Antonio. However, I’m not second guessing their decision. But why would North Korea want to target Mexican drug cartel leaders or their families? The simple answer is that they don’t. So this dog don’t hunt (I’m trying to speak Texan here).
(2) You can get some truly world class TexMex food in San Antonio’s restaurants. Would a North Korean nuclear attack on San Antonio simply remove the American will to live by eliminating a source of culinary delight? I doubt it. Koreans don’t usually appreciate the finer points of TexMex cooking.
(3) The San Antonio Spurs weren’t particularly nice to Dennis Rodman, friend of North Korea. While that is true, is it a reason to obliterate San Antonio?
(4) San Antonio is home to Lackland Air Force Base, which houses the US Air Force Cyber Command. This makes more sense than items 1-3 above, or the need to punish former President George W. Bush or jealousy as Gov. Perry suggests.

The North Koreans have recently been complaining about cyberattacks against their networks. (Rodong Sinmun and KCNA both seem to have been offline for recent periods.) On March 15, KCNA carried a statement stating that “intensive and persistent virus attacks are being made every day on internet servers operated by the DPRK,” asserting the attacks are “timed to coincide with the madcap Key Resolve joint military exercises being staged by the U.S. and other hostile forces,” and warning that North Korea “will never remain a passive onlooker to the enemies’ cyber attacks…”

(5) The Bracken Bat Cave is located in San Antonio. It’s possible that Kim Jung Un, a fan of US films as was his father, wants to “take out Batman” and he feels that a nuclear attack on San Antonio would solve his problem.

19 thoughts on “Why is North Korea Targeting San Antonio, Texas?

  1. I think that they'd be upset if he nuked San Antonio. However, the little chubby leader would make a better drug dealer than a dictator. Then again, if you took away all of his guards, somebody would put a shank into him, ending his nuclear brinksmanship.

  2. News just came out that a North Korean missile has been moved to the coast…if your missile needs to be on the edge of your country, its likely to not reach San Antonio…or much of South Korea.

  3. I think the missile that they moved to the edge of the country was a SS-N-06 (Russian submarine launched missile) adapted to a mobile launcher. Now the one they're driving around is likely a decoy, but last I heard, they did have some old SS-N-06 missiles in addition to their SCUD-C's. And wherever they might want to shoot them, there are ABM's waiting to shoot them down. And the fat little leader may be frustrated by that.

  4. They have tunnels. They may wheel the bomb under the border and light it off. The more likely employment would be as a nuclear naval mine. They like to make mines. It's not particularly impressive in the space age sense of the word, but a nuke is a nuke.

  5. That fat little fart needs a better barber, that hair cut makes him look like a mental case.

  6. Either the generals are compensating or they have scary Un-style hairdos growing under their silly hats.

  7. I think that it's one of those things that you simply have to be North Korean to fully appreciate.

  8. Are you sure that they aren't targeting the Bat Cave?

    Yes it's tense, but the DPRK is choreographing the way a circus clown would juggle with bowling pins. Some consider that it's masterful. I feel that it's ham-handed.

  9. The tunnels fascinate me. Not just their tunnels, the tunnels in Vietnam, the tunnels in Afghanistan, the tunnels across the border of Israel, the tunnels across the southern border of the United States. When the Zombies come, are we all gonna go underground…or wait, do they go underground?

  10. In the H. G. Wells book, "The Time Machine" – the mutants all live in caves in the future. I think that defines it. The disarmed humans (who are perfect progressives) on the surface become a food group for the mutants in the caves.

  11. I noticed that the fat little dictator has no intentions of nuking Chicago. Thugs apparently have a professional courtesy thing going on.

  12. Fred Luter, the president of the Southern Baptist Convention, appeared Wednesday on TruNews with Rick Wiles, the Religious Right talk show host who is convinced President Obama is literally a demon.

    After Wiles shared with Luter his theory that gay rights activists are to blame for North Korea’s threats to launch a nuclear strike against the US, Luter explained that while he is “not that strong in prophecy” he would not be surprised that there might be a connection.

    If you connect that with caves that al Qaeda, the North Koreans, North Vietnamese, Mexican Drug Cartels and the Palestinians favor — I mean you don't need a tin foil hat – ok, maybe you do, but once you throw H. G. Wells into the mix how can it be a coincidence? ….

  13. It's absolutely real. The kabuki nature of the DPRK doesn't mean that they can't light off a nuke. And we have to presume that they intend to carry out their threats. I don't think that they can fly a missile to DC but they can fly one to Seoul or Tokyo.

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