I hear you saying to yourself, “LL, you’re very tolerant.” I thought of punching their tires, but then they’d be obstacles and I wanted to give them a chance before I called the police first. This is the new, progressive me — who hopes that I can unload this house as being “mosque friendly” when I move to AZ in the next couple of months. I’m that sort of sell-out.
It’s Saturday, the doings at the Mosque down the street may have ended. The Muslims two-doors-down are having a hoot-in-nanny of some description. I’m not part of their faith and culture, so the screechy loud music and the obnoxious bull$hit bothers me. Everyone else posts fliers if they are going to have a party, explaining how long the shindig will last and who to call if we have a beef. Not the Mohammedans.
Naturally since there are about a hundred of them, attendees blocked the driveway of my home. It’s a three-car driveway and there were two Mohammedan cars blocking access when I arrived back from a run to Costco.
There are a lot of Sand People who live near me these days. I’m hoping that one of them buys my house (at a premium price) when I leave. Still, I did ask them politely to find the people who blocked my driveway and have them move.
The black family that lives between me and the Sand People wasn’t happy about that either. In fact, substantially less happy about the party than I am (it’s underway as I write). They parked two cars in his driveway AND blocked the access. He’s substantially less tolerant of both progressives, Mohammedans and blacks than I am, so he provides a racially and politically convenient buffer for me.
In the past he’s said, “LL, I moved here to get away from #$%& (inner city people), sand#%$&/dune coons and thugs.” I pointed out the he, himself was a negro. He pointed out that he wasn’t a #$%& (inner city person), and he’s a “Baptist, not a heathen”.
He and his wife are both lawyers and don’t like riffraff. He’s concerned that when I sell my house, a Mohammedan family will buy it and will further damage the neighborhood’s reputation. I told him that the way to fix that was to find a buyer-from-owner before I list it. Maybe I need to put fliers on all of the cars clogging the neighborhood. They could walk from my house to the mosque, trailing their wives and offspring every Saturday. What a bargain!
Don’t Sand People walk single file to hide their numbers? I’m not a Star Wars aficionado, but I think that’s true.