Those Pesky Mohammedans

Blog Post
It’s Saturday, the doings at the Mosque down the street may have ended. The Muslims two-doors-down are having a hoot-in-nanny of some description. I’m not part of their faith and culture, so the screechy loud music and the obnoxious bull$hit bothers me. Everyone else posts fliers if they are going to have a party, explaining how long the shindig will last and who to call if we have a beef. Not the Mohammedans. 
Naturally since there are about a hundred of them, attendees blocked the driveway of my home. It’s a three-car driveway and there were two Mohammedan cars blocking access when I arrived back from a run to Costco.
There are a lot of Sand People who live near me these days. I’m hoping that one of them buys my house (at a premium price) when I leave. Still, I did ask them politely to find the people who blocked my driveway and have them move. 

I hear you saying to yourself, “LL, you’re very tolerant.” I thought of punching their tires, but then they’d be obstacles and I wanted to give them a chance before I called the police first. This is the new, progressive me — who hopes that I can unload this house as being “mosque friendly” when I move to AZ in the next couple of months. I’m that sort of sell-out.

The black family that lives between me and the Sand People wasn’t happy about that either. In fact, substantially less happy about the party than I am (it’s underway as I write). They parked two cars in his driveway AND blocked the access. He’s substantially less tolerant of both progressives, Mohammedans and blacks than I am, so he provides a racially and politically convenient buffer for me. 
In the past he’s said, “LL, I moved here to get away from #$%& (inner city people), sand#%$&/dune coons and thugs.” I pointed out the he, himself was a negro. He pointed out that he wasn’t a #$%& (inner city person), and he’s a “Baptist, not a heathen”. 
He and his wife are both lawyers and don’t like riffraff. He’s concerned that when I sell my house, a Mohammedan family will buy it and will further damage the neighborhood’s reputation. I told him that the way to fix that was to find a buyer-from-owner before I list it. Maybe I need to put fliers on all of the cars clogging the neighborhood. They could walk from my house to the mosque, trailing their wives and offspring every Saturday. What a bargain!
Don’t Sand People walk single file to hide their numbers? I’m not a Star Wars aficionado, but I think that’s true.

14 thoughts on “Those Pesky Mohammedans

  1. You don't feel safer surrounded by the follower of the religion of peace?

  2. I be happy if they'd write a really big check. Maybe we can start a big Muslim bidding war.

  3. It's time to go somewhere else. To immigrate…and to change out those California license plates ASAP so people won't immediately hate us based on general principles.

  4. Tow trucks works, especially when someone blocks private property. Access for ambulance, frie and police is always important to have in mind. Good luck with your sales effort. Maybe you could try a sales pitch to your friends trying to hire you to do something far away. They would certainly have the money to move into an affluent neighborhood with cultural diversity and their fellow believers close by and the mind to pay a good price for a bargain.

  5. I thought you were the last hold out. Tell your neighbor to sell too and start looking now for a Proper Neighborhood out of the sand now.

    You are mellowing in your old age though. I thought you might like to remove four valve stems and tape them to their windshields. That's the Woodsterman Style you know.

  6. You're just doing what you have to do. If your lawyer neighbors would start recruiting some people with brains maybe, just maybe, they could save some small part of California.

    But I doubt it.

    I would suffocate and die if I had to wear what those women wear. I didn't even sweat properly until I was almost 60.

    Your timing would seem to be very good. I feel for your neighbor; but lawyers should know how to plan.

  7. I would have had the police tow the cars. Better to have the third party doing it rather than to have it done myself and start a quarrel with the Mooselims I want to advocate the purchase of my house with others of their kind/faith, etc.

  8. I am mellowing. How did that happen? I am not the last hold-out. The neighbor on the other side is a police lieutenant at a local community.

Comments are closed.

Scroll to top