A Valentine for your Ex (or your next Ex)

(link) The San Antonio Zoo’s “Cry Me A Cockroach” event allows visitors to the zoo website to pay $5 to name a cockroach after their ex, or $25 for a rat as part of the run up to Valentine’s day. The cockroaches will be fed to birds and the rats to snakes. I hope that they are willing to livestream the event the way the website advertises.
Go to their website at the link above for more information. 
Surf and Turf War (the love is gone)

(link) CAPE ELIZABETH, ME—In what is being described as the most ruthless act of bovine–crustacean violence in years, local authorities confirmed Monday that a charging herd of cattle had trampled 49 lobsters to death on the southern coast of Maine, marking a bloody escalation in their surf ’n’ turf war.

According to reports, the shoreline at Crescent Beach State Park was littered with crushed claws and carapaces, the deadliest hit yet in a week of intensifying conflict between lobsters and cows.

14 COMMENTS

  1. All we seem to be missing in this surf-n-turf war is any mention of drawn butter. Or even A-1 sauce, for God's sake.

    The investigation of this grisly episode must have been led by Peter Stryzok, slip shod in its entirety.

  2. "crushed claws and carapaces" — what Ilike here is the cinema verite of your reporting on the impeachment aftermath. Hey, tell it like it is.

  3. Sorry Fredd, the drawn butter seems to have been the first casualty of the war.

    And while I'm on that, your new found approval of Aunt Sally's food is now balanced against the disclosure that your current diet precludes eating any of Aunt Sally's partially defrosted fare.

  4. It can't all be weaponized Wuhan virus and impeachment. PS thanks for flooding my in-box with naked locomotives (porn to some people).

  5. That first story points out one of the few disadvantages of not living in the PRC – over there, you could (for enough money) probably just cut to the chase and have your Ex fed to the tigers, on live video stream.

    -Kle.

  6. The elite do that in North Korea all of the time – publically. I think it would happen privately in the PRC, but yeah, why not?

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