When the Zombies Rise!

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My children have been asking me for quite some time, “What are you preparing for?”
My stock response is, “When the Zombies attack, I don’t want to be caught with my pants down.”
I don’t know if my children simply trust what I say so much that they never questioned me, but apparently they ACTUALLY believed that I feared that the dead would rise (hungry for living flesh to consume) and would attack. This came up last weekend and I informed them that Zombies were a (politically correct) metaphor.
Living in California, one simply can’t be too careful when it comes to preparation. There is a massive unprepared population that will panic if things start circling the drain and there’s essentially nowhere to run.
There are two kinds of people trained/untrained. Best to be trained. You can be prepared or unprepared. Best to be prepared. 
I’m not touting prudent measures to protect yourself and feed yourself. You need to do that yourself and if you’re satisfied, maybe you’re prepared and trained.
One thing is certain. If you live in a large city and order breaks down, you need food, water, shelter and a means of defense. If you live in a small city, people from a large city will be there soon (they may be Zombies). 
My Advice: Walk softly, carry a big stick. 

And if the undead rise from their graves, I’ll say, “I told you so…I just joked about the metaphor.”
The little dog is unprepared to deal with the inevitable. 


15 thoughts on “When the Zombies Rise!

  1. Prepare? Sounds like a lotta work. My friends and I will just sit in the park with some stupid signs and pout until somebody gives us a sandwich.

  2. Would you really need a kickass partner though? Looks like maybe you ARE the kickass partner.

  3. Opus #6- Everyone needs a tail gunner to cover their 6 O'Clock Position.

    Innominatus – Preparation isn't work. It's a lifestyle. It's true of training too. There were a lot of people sitting around on benches after Hurricane Katrina hoping for a sandwich who got very upset because nobody came by and handed them one…

  4. I tell people the food and stuff in the basement is for if a natural disaster strikes…but its really for disaster's of the UNnatural kind. When they ask why the firearms are stored in various locations around the house…I let them know about the Zombies.

    This is the first place I've lived where I fear the Zombies would have us cornered, all inland routes go right through Zombie-land…unless I had a boat, but I'm a land-lover…

  5. I'm with Inno, carrying signs and begging for sandwiches sounds so much easier.

    Food, cash, and sticks work too. It's the redneck in me.

  6. Odie – begging works if the Zombies don't want to cook your carcass and share it with the other Zombies.

    Race – Being locked in is an uncomfortable fact of life for urban dwellers. However, if you're able to establish interlocking fields of fire, you have adequate food and untainted water, you can hold out against the most determined Zombie invasions.

  7. Lemmings I believe would be the correct term as to what's now going on. All we're seeing is brainwashed lemmings. As we all know lemmings follow the leader in a zombie like trance.

  8. Joetote – I'll agree with you that the lemmings don't seem to pose much of an individual threat, but collectively, Zombies can require more strident remedies…

  9. WoFat – in Chicago, the dead vote (for Obama or any other Democratic candidate). Therefore, I think that you're on the ball. Zombies by default are among the Obama faithful.

  10. P. S. WoFat – there is no need to defend myself from conservatives, who by definition love America, Mom, apple pie and only want to be left the flip alone.

    That being the case, Zombies are liberals.

  11. Thanks guys! I've been sitting here for months thinking of sending my book along to an agent and then a publisher, but I just can't bring myself to hit the send button because I've looked into what publishers do and it looks like a rip off.

    So I started looking around and I found CreateSpace. It looks rather enticing, but I wanted to ask around first.

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