Important Things

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It’s nice to have children. It’s especially nice to have grandchildren. When you have both in one package, it’s a world beater. My daughter, Amanda, gave up her police career to be a mother which turned into being a mother of three boys. These days she’s also a professional photographer, which she can pull off while being a mom since she’s able to wrap the photography gig around the needs of boys 8 to 2. 
She’s the oldest of my four girls and has always set a good example for the rest of them. Being siblings there are the odd conflicts over matters trivial. 
We had a discussion the other day about my somewhat twisted career path, non-traditional by anyone’s reckoning. Looking back on life, I could have pursued many things more completely but no success in life can compensate for failure in the home.  You have to decide what is important and what is transient. I am happy that I treasured my family above all else, and the default always fell in favor of them, and their wellbeing.
Because there are no dress rehearsals, being a parent is one of those moment-to-moment things where we hope that we did our best. I look back at this or that and wonder if I should have handled it differently. No matter, I did what I did and the chips fell were they may. Looking back is an exercise in frustration. I shared this with Amanda the other day. She knows how I feel now that she’s the mom.
When I first discussed the White Wolf Mine project in Arizona, both Amanda and her husband, my son-in-law, thought I was crazy. Amanda explained to him that I’m known for thinking up stuff and doing it. As the project moves forward, their attitude has changed and they see a modicum of wisdom in the old man’s ‘method to my madness’. At Thanksgiving dinner, they spoke of how they plan to spend a week at the mine for Thanksgiving next year, and asked if I thought it would snow. (who can tell?)
The only real treasure that I have is my family, and in the end, almost all that do has them in mind in the calculus, because they are truly important.

11 thoughts on “Important Things

  1. "I am happy that I treasured my family above all else, and the default always fell in favor of them, and their wellbeing."

    The best legacy a person can leave to posterity.

    My three sons are men who don't shirk their responsibilities, don't steal, and are willing to die defending their loved ones.That is my legacy.

  2. When you raise your kids and they turn out to be loving and responsible adults, then all else that transpired before helped them be who they are. We all look back and see where we possible could have done something different, but I look at it as part of their learning curve. Because what ever I did or didn't do, it was followed up with love and maybe some ice cream. They know… that is the amazing thing about raising kids, how their thought process works and how much they understand even when they say they don't. I say, good job LL.

  3. Some quotes from Lois McMaster Bujold:
    * All true wealth is biological.
    * My home is not a place, it is people.
    * You don't pay back your parents. You can't. The debt you owe them gets collected by your children, who hand it down in turn. It's a sort of entailment. Or if you don't have children of the body, it's left as a debt to your common humanity. Or to your God, if you possess or are possessed by one.

  4. The important thing is that you realize that your greatest gifts are your children. Well Done, LL.

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