A Booze Addled Day in Washington DC

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Even though today begins the new year, Washington DC still rolls around on silk sheets trying to rid itself of the New Year’s Eve hangover. Congressmen who partied too hard are trying to remember whose wife they slept with last night – so that they can add their husband’s name to the watch list for the Metro Police lest said husband decides to get frisky with firearms, which are outlawed in DC. The law alone should protect the adulterous legislators, backed up by armed police officers who stand vigil around them. However the icy dagger of uncertainty pierces their shriveled, yellow hearts.
Barack is dreading to board his luxury jet that’s been parked on the tarmac for the last two weeks at Hickam Air Force Base, Oahu, Hawaii. The catamite that he spend his vacation with will have to remain behind in that tropical paradise (selfie disabled). Barack apparently plans a return to his day job masked by a minimum wage smokescreen that the mainstream media will lay around DC in the hopes that it quells the angst of the masses over his disastrous signature ObamaCare health program (PERIOD). 

(Back Story) Washington DC, a city that — despite having no industries and a workforce consisting almost entirely of former student council presidents — manages to produce 100 percent of the nation’s crises. A few new ones are are looming well and apart from the festering, gangrenous, maggot infested wound that is “Affordable Healthcare”. 

Panic gripped Washington DC during the President’s Hawiian junket as grim-faced former student council presidents wrote talking points long into the night, trying to clean up the IRS Scandal, the Iranian Centrifuge Scandal, ObamaCare, trying to clean up Hillary’s Benghazi Scandal and find a way to keep the NSA spying on everyone without everyone around the globe getting upset about it. But this morning, they’re still in their feety onesies drinking cocoa and hoping to cure their headaches.

Government spending isn’t going to be a problem in 2014 despite an anticipated debt ceiling increase that will be required in May. That won’t be a crisis.  The government will be able to continue spending spectacular quantities of money that it does not have, thus temporarily averting the very real looming danger that somebody might have to make a decision.

6 thoughts on “A Booze Addled Day in Washington DC

  1. Government spending won't be a problem when the Chinese say, "Pay us what you owe us, and you ain't gettin' no more. Ni How Ma, we don't think."

  2. "Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever." – Mark Twain

  3. They gave up loaning us money about two years ago. Now we just print it and "borrow from ourselves". What a scam.

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