Star Wars Saturday

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Besides cleaning up the mess from Christmas (or if you’re in Britain, today you can open the boxes that Father Christmas brought yesterday)…..

Today is also a good day to join the throng of people who are going to watch Star Wars. If you haven’t seen the popular and immensely profitable Episode Seven, here are a few hints.

The new Darth Vader is far less competent than the old Darth Vader. I don’t know why that is, but it is. He almost looks ‘retarded’. I know that’s not a politically correct term, but that is my impression and I have to run with it. Maybe ‘developmentally disabled’ is better for those haters out there who will take exception with my characterization.

The new evil general is something like eighteen years old…and doesn’t seem nearly as wicked as what we have become accustomed to. I don’t get it, but I’m sure that all will be revealed in coming episodes in the ongoing struggle between good and evil!

It’s a new galactic empire but all of their toys look the same with an even larger Death Star complete with cannon. In fact, it’s almost a cut and paste remake.

The new person, strong in the force, is Daisy Ridley, who is much better looking than Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker), who at age 64, didn’t age all that well. 
If characters weren’t killed off in the previous six episodes of Star Wars, they’re back in this, the seventh incarnation of tales from long ago in a far away galaxy.
The cast includes Carie Fischer/Princess Leia Organa (pictured with young Mark Hamill, left), who married Harrison Ford/Han Solo, and together had a son who disappoints them in the film.
Then there is Finn, a black guy who decided not to be a storm trooper anymore, who is curiously attracted to Daisy Ridley, but who I hope is not her brother in some strange, twisted, Starwarzian way. Call me old fashioned because I am. 
But maybe they are brother and sister because neither knew their true parents and with Star Wars, history repeats – A LOT. When you see the film, you’ll get my point and I don’t think that I’m spoiling anything.

20 thoughts on “Star Wars Saturday

  1. No, no, no – we don't open boxes today…..unless it's wine then of course. Today is just an extension of yesterday, i.e.; you just continue to eat and veg and drink and wonder what day it is and so on.
    I've heard some mixed reviews on this film. Because of that I'm just going to watch the Dark Knight on telly and see how I can improve my jokes. Happy B (irth and oxing) day!

  2. Thank you. I don't plan to do much today besides have lunch. The plotting and scheming continues unabated. To do less would be to let you down.

  3. Happy Boxing Day! I watched Crimson Peak last night (del Toro) — visually stunning, I thought, though the plot/story was perhaps a little weak. Will check out the new SW.

  4. I'm not inclined to see the new Star Wars flick on the big screen. I can wait until it appears in the huge bin at Target, the DVD available for $2.19. Of course this may be in 2020 or so, but I am nothing if not a patient man.

  5. Oh, I have a feeling that it will be in the discount bin at the big box stores long before that. At least you know what to expect.

  6. Your description is spot on. Daisy Ridley is a lot easier on the eyes than Mark Hamill. At least we were spared watching Jar Jar.

    And happy birthday? Did you finally turn 29?

  7. I made 29 but I don't think that I've ever "grown up"…if grown up means that I stopped having fun.

    I missed Jobba-the-Hut. I realized that he was slaughtered in a previous episode but I had been hoping for a clone (which is still not out of the realm of possibility in Star Wars).

  8. I refuse to grow up as well. It's highly overrated.

    I missed that Muppet with the high, squeaky laugh that hung out with Jabba-the-Hut. We're all glad though, that we were spared the "talents" of Hayden Christensen or Natalie Portman.

  9. In the re-clone wars, we could get Heyden back as Darth II. They clearly need somebody who is evil to run the Empire. The mouth-breathing Darth who used the force to choke people at least imparted menace. Now they are running with "May the Schwanz be with you".

  10. I watched the first 3 1/2 movies and got board out of my gourd. I hear six is pretty good, but wonder now, with you assessment. If I watch it, it will be later on when the crowds die down or it is on Netflix.

  11. I was underwhelmed. Cardboard cut-outs might have delivered their lines more persuasively. Anyway, BELATED birthday greetings LL! Carpe Diem, nunc-pro-tunc!!!

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