Special Goggles

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The goggles are available on Kickstarter. The promotional video claims that the goggles are able to actively identify threats to political correctness and alert you when you’re about to be dangerously oppressed.
“Are you tired of having to search for something to be oppressed by?” a voiceover says in the ad. “With our patented microaggression-tracking technology, you won’t have to search any longer. Now, you can instantly identify up to 100 things to be offended by in any conversation.”
The product will detect a wide range of microaggressions, including the following:
White privilege
MAGA hats
Smiling at you without your consent
Lack of avocado toast
Cultural appropriation
Cultural exclusion
Being hateful toward women
Being too friendly toward women
Not liking The Last Jedi
You can back the goggles for $99 at a base level or spend $4,999 on a deluxe edition that includes a white guy who will follow you around so you can claim to be even more oppressed. The Kickstarter creator believes they will ship within the next decade.  (h/t Babylon Bee)

17 thoughts on “Special Goggles

  1. I knew it was satire as soon as I saw the price.
    They'd go for much more than that.

  2. Are franchises going to be available? I bet I could sell a bunch in Lawrence and Kansas City.

  3. I have to agree with Ed and with that in mind, perhaps there's a business plan in the making?

  4. It is a good thing that I was not drinking anything while reading this post. Otherwise you would owe me a new keyboard.

    Thanks for the post.
    Paul L. Quandt

  5. The March of the progressives- real geniuses like Buttgag, Irish Bob O’Rorque and AOC

  6. With the deluxe package, is that white guy who follows you around old, fat, short and rich? If not, I'll pass. I only want real bonafide offensive white guys, none of those fake Beto O'Rourke-types.

  7. What if we could clone Harvey Weinstein?

    Then you'd be guilty of 'Crimes Against Humanity'…..

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