No, I don’t call it a holiday list, it’s a Christmas List. If any of you bloggers had any thoughts on getting me something, I thought I’d make it easy for you. These are not in any particular order. Feel free to mix and match.
1. Jessica Alba
I thought that it would be nice to have her input into a book that I’m currently writing. Those of you with filthy minds can think what you will. My intent here is completely… uh… where was I?
The MP7 is a German submachine gun manufactured by Heckler & Koch (H&K) and chambered for the 4.6x30mm cartridge. If you buy the weapon for me, please also buy cartridges. I prefer the 2g Action ammunition but will accept the DM11 ammo too.
3. Ferrari Enzo
The Enzo is street-legal in case any of you were worried that I would be willing to take delivery of a street-illegal gift. Yes it’s red. No, I’m not in a mid-life crisis. I do have discerning tastes. If you are seriously considering buying one for me, please also consider buying insurance for it. (thx)
4. Heckler and Koch 416
The HK416 (5.56 mm) was developed by Heckler & Koch for U.S. special operations forces as a major product improvement of M4/M16-type carbines and rifles. Using the HK-proprietary gas piston system found on the G36, the HK416 does not introduce propellant gases and carbon fouling back into the weapon’s interior, making it the most reliable of any M4/M16 type weapon. If you’d like to accessorize it for me, that would be nice. If not, I’ll deal with those details on my own.
5. Sofie Vergara
I’m looking for her to help me with my English. Only as a teacher. That’s it.
6. Caiman MRAP
Tracks are not street legal but the Caiman is. I feel that I need it in the event of a zombie invasion. I live in Southern California so the zombies live among us (but I’m not telling YOU anything). If you buy this for me, please also include a gasoline credit card to show me that your heart is in the right place. Yes, I prefer it in desert tan, but will accept OD Green or Black. Please, no UN white Caimans.
7. Gulfstream G-280
You’ll note that I didn’t ask for a G-650. A 280 will serve my modest needs. If you select this option, please insure it and include a gasoline credit card. The G-280 goes well with the Sofie Vergara or Jessica Alba options. Don’t worry about a pilot. I’ll fly it.