Zonies – man bites snake/snake bites man
So there you are in Arizona, a party is underway, and somebody discovers a rattlesnake in your back yard. What should you do? (LINK) Picking it up and trying to grill it live, to amaze and delight your guests may not be the best choice. However, with enough beer and the endless encouragement of your family and friends, who are photographing you – maybe you should go for it?
And it’s all going so well until you lose your grip on the snake and it sinks a dose of venom into your neck and chest.
The guy survived thanks to the marvels of modern medicine and prompt treatment so a Darwin Award will not be handed out. As to Darwin Awards, one must be the cause of one’s own demise. In other words: “Killing a friend with a home-made hand grenade would not be eligible, but killing oneself while manufacturing a homemade chimney-cleaning device from a hand grenade would be eligible. To earn a Darwin Award, one must have killed oneself, or rendered oneself sterile (taken out of the gene pool); merely causing death to a third party is insufficient.” So if he would have died, he could have received the coveted award.
The Bitter Old Crone
Hillary Clinton’s book tour continues as she blames everyone but herself for being thrashed by President Trump in the 2016 presidential race.
I find it amazing that she is putting it out there that she’s thinking of a run in 2020. Drilling down, it seems that as a woman, she felt it was her turn (because of plumbing). The formula seemed so simple: unbridled ambition combined with Satanic worship and complete corruption should have delivered the win.
She’s planning to mount a legal challenge because of some sort of “trumped” up charges that she intends to level. Maybe in that way she can become president? Meanwhile, I’m certain that Slick Willy is enjoying her absence while she’s on her tour.
Any Excuse
International talk-like-a-pirate day provides an excuse for people not like me to dress up in a silly costume, go to a party and drink. (pirate name generator) My feeling on the matter is that I’m enough of a pirate every day that if people want to dress like a pirate, they should dress like I do. But that’s not good enough for them because my daily dress would not be considered ‘festive’.
There is an old Navy rule that if the sun is over the yard arm, you can drink. Unless it’s a morning cure drink, and then you can do it whenever you stop barfing (worshiping) at the porcelain god and you get yourself together enough to pour one.
If you do put on silly clothes and to to the bar to celebrate the day, I hope it’s enough.
Enjoy the day.
Silly or not, you have to admire some of the costumes these land lovers come up with. Ill just have a my afternoon beer and be done with it.
I am forced to admire the spray-on costumes where there's nothing between the eye and flesh but a little paint. Of the pirate costumes, those are my favorite. I expect that Black Beard would have appreciated those as well.
Ol Victor doesn't seem to learn much, this was not the first time he has been bitten, according to the article. Who do you think is going to pay for his care (5 days on a ventilator) when he goes on these Darwin award trips.
Q: How come pirates never did well in school?
A: They could never get the hang of the 'Three Arrrrrr's'
Yeah, I know, my pirate material needs some work.
He may have private health insurance because ObamaCare doesn't cover most of Arizona. Or it's Medicaid, in which I should be proud to contribute to his recovery.
Not bad. Not as good as some of your other stand-up material, but all in all, not bad.
Bad decisions make for good stories.
The best stories!
Damn! I'm never around when the good parties kick off!
I hope he has seen this as a miracle and becomes priest of a snake biting church just in time for me to visit.
Or he comes over to clownism? If he'd put an emergency clown nose on before dealing with the snake, it would have made so much more sense, wouldn't it?
People need to start reaching deep for their inner clown.
Hillary can't seem to fathom her historic loss. But the message is clear.
Hillary, Satan has discarded you like a broken toy.
He's a clown alright but not necessarily the right sort. Still, a few days with me and a some custard pies might sort him out 🙂
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