You have been looking forward to Talk Like a Pirate Santa Day all year. And here it is! Be bold, dress up like either a pirate Santa or Santa’s wench (sexy female Mrs. Claus) today, and don’t let people keep you down. It’s your right. If you wander around a shopping mall with your cutlass and Queen Anne pistols (loaded) shouting, “Surrender the booty!” you may come to the attention of mall security. That’s what your wench is for. She’ll charm them into allowing you to continue to enjoy your Talk Like a Pirate Santa Day in style.
You may be asking what you can do on Talk Like a Pirate Santa Day that you couldn’t do on any other day. Great question. With only twelve shopping days remaining before Christmas, the acquisition of booty (which you’ll give to others – wink-wink) will be high on your list. People will recognize this as they franticly run hither and yon, doing the same thing. You’ll be doing it with a sense of panache sorely lacking in our culture.
Just because you’re old, fat, and look jolly doesn’t mean that you can’t also be dangerous.
Q/A
- Do I need a parrot to sit on my shoulder and utter witty sayings to participate in Talk Like a Pirate Santa Day?
- No. It would add to the experience of both you and those around you, but the bird will also crap (as parrots do) all over your fancy rented Santa outfit, and the dry cleaning bill may exceed the value of the booty you end up with.
- What if my wife objects to me wandering around in public with a wench in tow on Talk Like a Pirate Santa Day?
- She agreed to take you for better or worse, didn’t she?
- I was supposed to show up at church and practice with the choir for the Christmas cantata. Can I do this while wearing a pirate Santa outfit?
- If the wench can sing too, you can add her voice to the sopranos, though the squawking parrot could distract from the chorus. I advise going as scheduled, keeping your commitments, and adding “ho-ho-ho” to the usual lyrics whenever possible. Since it’s that special day, you could break into the Disney theme from the ride whenever there is a pause in the action.
- Must I drink grog on Talk Like a Pirate Santa Day, even if I prefer a vodka martini, shaken, not stirred?
- You’re getting your days mixed up. The vodka martini is for Talk Like 007 Day when you’re in company with Ms. Moneypenny at the pub. Frankly, how can you wander around in public dressed like a pirate and be sober? Drink the grog and deal with the social fallout on Festivus (a day for feats of strength and airing grievances, a week from today).
- Note: This is not Jimmy Buffet Parrothead Day. You’re not allowed to waste away in Margaritaville as you usually would if you were a federal government bureaucrat who didn’t have to show up for work – ever – while pulling down six figures at taxpayer expense. Talk Like a Pirate Santa requires active participation.
- RIP Jimmy Buffet – Born on Christmas Day – December 25, 1946, Pascagoula, MS. Died: September 1, 2023 – all respect to the Great Jimmy Buffet. I hope he’s eating a cheeseburger in paradise.
Bullet Points:
** “As he prepares to become president for the second time, Donald Trump is viewed more favorably now than before taking office.”
** Wisdom doesn’t require that you see things. It requires that you see through things.
** Don’t give me your applesauce. The worst day of the year to have a birthday is December 26 – the day after Christmas. I’ll grant you that some days are almost as bad, but not as bad. Chairman Mao (Mousey Tongue) was also born on December 26.
** A federal judge last Friday ruled that the U.S. Naval Academy can continue considering race in its admissions process, ruling that military cohesion and other national security factors mean the officer training school should not be subjected to the same standards as civilian universities. The color of the skin outweighs the content of the character.
** “We were cleared hot to go in there, smoke his a–, and get you out of there based on the rules of engagement. Just because you’re authorized to do something doesn’t always mean it’s the right thing to do. It probably would have created an international incident if we had done what we were authorized to do.”
** Saudi Arabia’s nuclear program includes uranium enrichment, which has raised concern in the US about a potential arms escalation in the region. Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman told Fox News last year that if Iran were to obtain a nuclear weapon, then “we will have to get one.”
Two Rivers
The Rio Grande and Red Rivers confluence is at La Junta Point in the Rio Grande Del Norte National Monument. The Rio Grande Gorge is 800’ deep here, its deepest. On a sunny Saturday afternoon, despite a short paved pathway from the parking lot, there were no humans (except the present company). I heard the wind, the water in the two rivers, birds—and nothing else. Ok, yes, birds are evolved dinosaurs, so, to that extent, you could also say that I heard dinosaurs.
This part of the national monument is about an hour’s drive from Taos, through the village of Questa.
***
Binge Drinking – by County
The map above squares with my personal experience and exposure to that part of the United States of America.
Autism (h/t Sharyl Attkisson)
The following is from Children’s Health Defense.
A peer-reviewed study published in the Journal of Xenobiotics links autism to environmental exposures, finding that parents with high chemical intolerance are nearly six times more likely to have a child diagnosed with autism. The study emphasizes that both genetic predispositions and environmental toxicants contribute to autism risk.
The study highlights the role of mast cells, a type of immune cell, in responding to toxic exposures. Researchers found that these exposures can trigger mast cells and potentially alter gene expression, which may increase the risk of autism and ADHD in children. Mast cells are activated by toxicants like pesticides, fossil fuels, and mold, leading to immune dysregulation that can affect neurodevelopment.
According to biologist Christina Parks, Ph.D., repeated exposure to toxic chemicals can lead to immune system dysregulation, triggering neurological disorders.
“Repeated chemical exposure can throw the immune system into a frenzy, such that it starts attacking things it previously tolerated.”
Christina Parks, Ph.D.
The study also points to fossil fuels, pesticides, and mold as significant contributors to chemical intolerance, characterized by heightened sensitivity to environmental toxicants. This phenomenon, known as Toxicant-Induced Loss of Tolerance (TILT), underscores the growing impact of modern chemical exposures.
Challenging the mainstream narrative that autism is primarily genetic, the study emphasizes the growing role of environmental toxicants. It builds on a 2015 study that linked chemical intolerance to increased autism risk.
“We know there is no such thing as a genetic epidemic. This study reconfirms that genetically vulnerable people become autistic as a result of exposure to things in the environment.”
John Gilmore, Executive Director, Autism Action Network
The research also found a significantly higher rate of autism among participants than reported by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, with 12.3% of families in the study having at least one autistic child. This figure challenges mainstream narratives and emphasizes the urgent need for more research into environmental triggers.
Experts emphasize the critical need to reduce environmental toxicant exposure. James Lyons-Weiler, Ph.D., a research scientist and author, noted that minimizing toxic exposures could significantly mitigate autism risk, especially for genetically susceptible populations.
“The findings support the idea that reducing total toxic exposures could mitigate autism risk, particularly in genetically susceptible populations.”
James Lyons-Weiler, Ph.D.
The study’s authors recommend assessing prospective parents for chemical intolerance and increasing awareness among healthcare providers about the potential risks of toxic exposure.
For more information, read the full article here.
Christmas Gift Suggestion
I’m not jonesing for anyone to buy me anything. I think it’s interesting that there are now surf fins (which I still use) that are desert camo and will get lost in the sand on the beach. My surf fins are brightly colored, so I can find them if they’re knocked off. The surf does that — all the time. I also keep them in my canoe in case it flips (which also happens), and it’s easier for me to swim the canoe to shore where I can put everything (lashed down inside and waterproofed) right.
Do you recall the change in US Navy uniforms to ocean camo so sailors washed over the side couldn’t be seen and recovered? I had the same reaction to Yucca’s release of camo swim fins. Okay, if you’re a SEAL headed into combat, beach sand camo (as opposed to black) makes some sense. The old gum rubber duck feet fins (I’m old enough to have used them) were brown. In all other applications — Why?
At US$100 a pair, they won’t break the bank. However, if I have to buy three pairs a year because I’m losing them, it seems like less of a bargain. Yes, they float after a fashion, and maybe they’d be partially buried in silt or sand as they lay in the surf zone.
Identify the Aircraft
1
2
A front-line bomber for the RAF during the early stages of WW2.
3
4
5
I’m including two photos to aid you. Yes, Surly, you’ll get it right off, I know.
6
There are two photos, as in the entry above.
Flapping was seen as the ultimate solution for powered flight.
Flapping more vigorously didn’t seem to help (below)
Parting Shot
1 looks to be Avro Lancaster
2
It is!
#5 how could it fly without vertical and horizontal stabilizers? Planes without a rudder, how can the yaw be controlled?
I wouldn’t want to be the test pilot.
The crash right before the 1922 race injured the pilot.
The tail includes a rudder. It’s just not that visible. Up/down controlled by the ailerons. Dunno if the ailerons were controlled so they could make a bank turn or if they were linked to go up/down only.
–
Built for racing. Top speed of 385kph in 1922. Not a bad design really. Only 1 made, crashed right before a race. Still, 385kph, in 1922, that’s damn fast.
Identify the Aircraft:
1. Avro Lancaster
2. Handley Page Hampden
3. Lockheed Hudson
4. Fouga CM.88 Gemeaux
5. Carmier-Arnoux Simplex
6. Riout Alérion 102 T
I thought it might pose a challenge…guess not.
Once I identified the object on top of the engine as a cylindrical Lamblin radiator and then assumed the plane was a racer, it was a case of looking through the many 1920s-1930s racers. It was a challenge.
The better half and I were in Taos a couple of years ago and decided to see the Rio Grande Gorge Bridge. While the bridge was not impressive, the gap it bridged definitely was!
I beg to differ – the ABSOLUTE worst birthdate is December 24th – I know from personal experience !
Everyone is too busy getting ready for Christmas to pay you much attention, and there are far too many “combination” BD/Christmas gifts !
Are you throwing a slow pitch for me to hit?
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12/24 – A hopeful day full of carols, lights, fine food and eggnog ** 12/26 – A depressing day with trash everywhere, lights out, recovering from the eggnog.
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12/18 through 1/1 you’re going to get one present wrapped in Christmas paper that’s for both your birthday and Christmas.
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12/24 – Angels and shepherds visited the baby Jesus ** 12/26 – Mary is hurting, Jesus has colic, Angels are gone, shepherds are rounding up the sheep that scattered.
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Going out to eat 12/24 – waiters are hopeful for a big tip, service at a premium, food is the best. ** by 12/26 the wait staff is snippy, depressed and hung over. The food they serve will be what wasn’t eaten 12/24 when they burned through the best cuts. They haven’t been to the market. You get left overs.
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At home on 12/26, you can scavange through the turkey bones for meat and stale left overs that sat out from 12/24.
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12/24 is a happy day. 12/26 you realize that you didn’t get the pony you asked Santa for and you’ll never get one, You unwrapped your 2 for 1 gift on Christmas and there’s nothing left to open. Everyone is depressed. Maybe you are sardined in a crowded movie theater to view a film you didn’t want to see.
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12/24 you’re wearing a silly Christmas sweater at a party ** 12/26 the sweater is in the dirty clothes because your Uncle Tom barfed on it.
Heh.
Oh, there is a worse date. Dec 28th. Holy Innocents’ Day. Back in the medieval period, some places the parents would get up and beat the kids all because of HID.
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Bad day for my dad and mom. My sister died on Dec 28th. Of a heart issue that can now be fixed in utero or right after. Needless to say, took a lot of fun out of the season for him for quite a while.
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On the other hand, Dec 23rd was the traditional ‘go get the tree’ day back before we got an artificial tree. Go to a tree farm, cut it down, take it home and hang it upside down to let all the dead stuff fall out. Take down the following day, decorate, go to Midnight Mass, have it up for 12 days, take down on the Epiphany.
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As to December, overall it’s not a great month for birthday presents. Trust me. Too many think they can lump BDay and XMas together and it doth sucketh.
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Though I think the worst day to have a BDay would be the 25th. I mean, probably no separate celebration, most likely no birthday cake, people get to open presents on YOUR FRIGGIN DAY. Woooo. And the same damn meal every year. At least the 24th or 26th you might get your own special choice of dinner and an actual cake. On the 25th, what do you sing? “We wish you a merry Christmas, and a Happy Birthday…” No, nope, that’s gotta really suck.
So, Lord High Executioner Beans, you’re unwilling to share a birthday with Jesus Christ? Wow. Just wow.
Well… look what happened to Jesus.
*
-Kle.
It’s not that I’m unwilling, if I was born on 12/25, it’s just that explaining that to a 3-4 year old after he/she sees her siblings and friends get real birthday parties that, “Hey, you just gotta suck it up, kiddo, we’re having a celebration for everyone today.” Yeah, there’s a place in the Pacific called ‘No Fun Atoll’ and the kid just got a one-way ticket.
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Seriously, I was born in December and the quality/quantity of effort put into my birthdays didn’t meet my brothers. Oh, my parents tried, but there was always that lag or lack of follow-through that showed.
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Yes, I’m an adult and I do understand, but as a kid it sucked, one of those things that gets stuck in a kid’s head. And birthdays and Christmas in our house always went with the ‘1 big present, 2 medium, 3 small and clothes’ rule that parents who lived during the Depression and War years seemed to use.
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And, really, would you want to share the day with the Big JC? Here you are bitching about being born on Boxing Day and think how much worse it would be on JC’s?
When you share a birthday with Jesus, everyone is singing, opening presents, mistletoe hangs over the doorways, people visit, and while the child in the manger pre-empts you the “Oh and happy birthday to you Lord High Executioner” would also be offered. “I bought you one present, but it’s a big one.” The day after is worse. In the US, Boxing Day is not recognized or celebrated. Merry making is focused on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. What you say of clothes was true for me (raised by grandparents who lived through the depression). For a boy, you might as well not bother if you’re just going to give him new levis to replace those (patched twice) with the blown out knees. People don’t patch bluejeans anymore do they? They don’t darn socks either.
#6. It reminds me of the recent movie Dune’s Ornithopters.
X2 – The Ornithopters in the movie and book seemed to work better.
It was a design that just begs for modern material science to be used. I would love to see one actually fly, which the French design kind of did, sort of, in a way (worked real well in a wind tunnel, until it didn’t, and thus you get the second picture with all the screwed-up wings.)
So mold is linked to autism, yet there’s no recommendation to clean house more? No lawsuits there either….
Some molds are very toxic. You’re better off eating the flaking lead based paint.
And the rise in autism follows the rise in sealed and air conditioned homes. No air exchange.
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As to molds, molds love to grow in ac ducts and wet places, and if you don’t keep your air handler/exchanger dry or the drain clean, you will have mold coming in everywhere. They also grow in places you can’t clean, like in the footer under cabinets and in walls where there’s leaks or messed up insulation and you get condensation which leads to molds. They don’t have to be in visible places, just places that the air you breathe can interact with them.
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It’s one of those situations that our ancestors’ air leaky homes probably were a little better due to better air exchange and circulation, since houses used to be designed to exchange air without having a machine move the air around.
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Seriously, nice sealed and air conditioned home. No fresh air exchange, just a constant build-up of toxins and dust and mold. A really really good air filter, changed regularly, can help cut down on all of that.
Toxic exposure may be the trigger, but how much of the exposure is what is being injected into children? Unfortunately, too much money needed for such studies is being spent to show the injections are not part of the reason. If it is ever determined vaccinations are the leading cause, court house in the United States will find a windfall for expansion, and law schools will be handing out diplomas like circus flyers.
X2
Stop noticing things! For the love of Odin, don’t put pieces together.
Noticing patterns and then asking questions is Hate Crime and will be punished.
Me? I’m just glad they caught that guy with The Manifesto, The Ghost Gun, and The Suppressor.
Gosh, I feel much safer now. Baphomet’s on his/her throne and the world is on track again. Whew!
Geez Mike….it’s called a silencer according to the NRA hating media-ites. [total snark]
Suppress-her?
Silence-her?
I see what’s going on here. “Hearing Protection Act” my oppressed yellow butt. Misogyny runs deep in the fascist so-called gun community.
—
>NRA hating media-ites
PS I hate the NRA too, even though I retain my Life Membership.
PPS they finally stopped harassing me with fund raising solicitations. Are they just ramping down generally, or did my consistently hostile mockery of Wayne LaPierre and other honchos (by return email, return physical post) actually have an effect?
They still call me, dragging the sack.
I ultimately took the sticker off the front door sidelight, figured if anyone got that far a sticker wasn’t about to deter…and with the new “perimeter defense plan” driveway alert I’ll hear them coming (danged thing works from 1/4 mile away, and it’s solar no less). My defenses aren’t quite “Angel Has Fallen” – Dad Banning’s cabin in the woods, but enough WiFi with the Eero mesh system in place.
These days (by which I means the ’80s), it appears any child that doesn’t conform to what a teacher calls “societal (classroom) norms” is classed as autistic or “low intelligence” if the child shows no interest in what the teacher is saying or “has ants in the pants” or prefers talking with their neighbor or prefers drawing/scribbling on the desk with/without a piece of paper or prefers to watch the antics of a fly on the ceiling. To avoid this classification a child (and I’m talking primarily about the 5 to 10 year olds) must sit erect, feet on the floor, hands folded on the desk in front of them, eyes front and mouth closed: otherwise the child may be referred for psych eval. Conformity reigns!
BTW: does this problem arise in children with parents (either/both?) who drink (not heavily) alcohol (tomato/orange juice?), smoke tobacco (or some other leaf), eat (too much/not enough) red meat?
Are we using AUTISM as a catchall/diagnostic word to include a multitude/range of observed behaviors?
Does anyone have a shovel to clean the barn? I’ve a bulldozer I’d be happy to rent out.
The 80s were forty-five years ago. Tall trees on my property weren’t sprouted then.
Yeah! but my kids were 5-8 year old sprouts being bent (for life) by the then public education system, which, IMHO, has only gotten worse;
it took a lot of straightening at home on the weekends when we were relaxed and could concentrate on the necessities to make sure that they became useful members of society; some of their friends in private schools weren’t any better off, some far less so.
The two of mine who have kids are very well aware of what the schools did to them, how hard my wife and I worked to counteract the problems brought on by the schools, and how they and their spouses are currently working to teach theirs the classic American Judeo-Christian principles that are so lacking in the schools today.
BTW: I appreciate the “trees” example; it exemplifies precisely what I’m talking about.
Yeah, it’s not like people who learn by touching or need movement while reading can get away with it these days. “Oh, he rocks back and forth while reading, he must be autistic or have ADHD.” No, you feckless idiot, that’s how he can learn. Stop him from moving and he doesn’t learn.
And I say ‘He’ because overwhelmingly it is boys who need motion to learn. So the whole ‘Must Not Move’ rule is overwhelmingly anti-male.
I never understood the camo wallet as well. What if you’re out in the woods and drop it?
The same is true with well-camouflaged rifles.
November 11th is a tough day to have a birthday. Every non-fast food restaurant has a Veteran’s discount so they all have a hour wait to get seated.
Compare it to 12/26, sitting in a pile of Christmas wrappings, eating three-day-old leftovers.
I’m noticing a pattern in your 12/26 comments.
I’m wondering what say LL was born on????
You don’t need a divining rod to figure that one out.
Re: Mousey Tongue – back in the ’70s, cartoonist B. Kliban did one with the name Mousey Dung and that stuck with me.
Autism. 48 years ago A psychologist told our parent group the difference between retardation and autism was the parent’s level of education.
I’m less than an expert, but there are 100 shades involved. All are not caused in the same way.
Drinking: Dang Scandinavians, but “anything for a party”. Altho, probably depressed because – at least for Norwegians – left the most beautiful landscape on the planet.
***
Autism: Not only an excuse for manner of self-control conditions, but more so Big Pharma pushing 52 different vaxcrap shots and School Districts going full ‘Little Red Book’ Lefty. Me? Got a ‘D’ in self control in 2nd grade (okay, it was a Parochial school), would have been on Ritalin today. Mom to Teacher in new public school, 3rd grade: “He’s bored, give him extra to do…and if anything in the classroom needs fixing ask him to do it.” (as one who had “The Knack” in my playpen…4th Grade Shop class was my daily nirvana)
***
Sidebar: Levin yesterday — Re: Joizee Drone Sightings: “So the Fed geniuses come out and say they have no idea what these are BUT THEY KNOW THEY AREN’T FROM AN ENEMY!” Heh.
I’m liking this Talk Like a Pirate Santa Day…except no one will be around to hear me talking to myself…which could be good as I’d be safe from getting hauled off to the funny farm…well…except when overlooking the Contemplative Pasture, then the horses might be looking at me like I’ve lost my gourd.
The drunk county map is spot on. I am a retired trial lawyer who practiced in northeast Wisconsin. Lots of OWI cases. When I would depose a driver who drove while impaired, I would ask questions about alcohol usage. I frequently got answers like: “I don’t drink that much every day, ususally just a six pack after work.” or “I save my heavy drinking for Saturdays—you know like a case or so.” “I didn’t drink that much at dinner…maybe 4 or 5 cocktails, and then after dinner one for the road.”
When I moved to the area, I thought people were health conscious–lots of them riding bicycles around town. Then I realized they had all lost their license for OWI.
PS: You know what OWI means in Wisconsin? Operating While Illinoisan.
OWI: just stereotypes. Mean-hearted stereotypes. :-(
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/tUzh0v1pQV0
;) :) :)
Nice! (So true. Us PA boys would do the same to Joizee infiltrators, unless down at the shore then we’d be the ones getting called “shoobie”)
Living in De Smet, SD, we hated seeing Wisconsin and Illinois license plates, kind of the same thing living in Alabama, hated to see the Florida peach plate because we knew that did not have driver’s ed and couldn’t drive, park, or stay at the posted speed limit, always 5 to 10 miles per hour slower.
“I also keep them in my canoe in case it flips (which also happens), and it’s easier for me to swim the canoe to shore where I can put everything (lashed down inside and waterproofed) right.”
With or without the guns?
The firearms are lost for all time in the depths. It’s not my fault, Ed.
What Shall We Do with a Drunken Pirate Santa? (To the tune of “What Shall We Do with a Drunken Sailor”)
Chorus:
What shall we do with a drunken Pirate Santa, What shall we do with a drunken Pirate Santa, What shall we do with a drunken Pirate Santa, Early in the morning?
Verse 1:
Hey Ho (ho ho no), he’s stealing mince pies, Hey Ho (ho ho no), he’s telling drunk lies,
Ho (ho ho no), he’s feeding bad guys
Straight to his pack of wolves!
Chorus:
What shall we do with a drunken Pirate Santa, What shall we do with a drunken Pirate Santa, What shall we do with a drunken Pirate Santa, Early in the morning?
Verse 2:
Load him aboard his Bond-style boat,
With the captains wench in a furry pink coat, He’ll zip ‘round Cornwall while the piskies float, Wearing his rivals’ cow boots!
Chorus:
Shove him in the brig with a keg of cider,
Leave him at sea to the Thames’ high tide, or Let the wolves loose on the naughty blighter, Early in the morning!
Verse 3:
Bristol to Brighton, he’s causing a right scene, Dumping fake news in the Severn, obscene! Chased by the Coast Guard, “Ho ho, you’re keen!”
“I’m full of rum lasses and sloe gin!”
Chorus:
What shall we do with a drunken Pirate Santa, What shall we do with a drunken Pirate Santa, What shall we do with a drunken Pirate Santa, Early in the morning?
Verse 4:
Toss him ashore at Whitby’s pier
Sell his sleigh to fund some beer,
Swap his reindeer for a DB9
And…
Let the fat boy drown in wine!
Chorus:
That’s what we’ll do with a drunken Pirate Santa, That’s what we’ll do with a drunken Pirate Santa, That’s what we’ll do with a drunken Pirate Santa, Early in the morning!
Well done!
Jules goes total art form…with art philosophy
X2…that’ll be stuck in my head all day.
Binge Drinking – by County
Maybe I need new glasses.
Coz, I don’t see d strict criminals nor at least pillow sees home represented.
Juan
Too dumb to read in first grade , old white haired teacher , gave me a marble to hold in one hand and roll around . Held Dick and Jane in the other . Couldn’t go to recess till I read a chapter. Hell ,I just needed motivation.