Friday Follies

Blog Post
Blast from the Past

This Virtual Mirage blog post remains the most popular historically. It’s a 2011 posting, so it’s been on the blog almost since the beginning. It involves a breach of contract – a legal case, where somebody thought that they were contracting for one thing and got another.

Wuhan Flu – A Reminder

If you have a temperature of 105, body aches, chills, a relentless cough as your lungs fill with fluid and you’re peeing blood as your kidneys shut down, be sure to vote for TRUMP before you die.

During the China Flu Crisis

Virtual Mirage is selling organic toilet paper. Proceeds will go to a good cause, you can be assured of that.

What about the Census?

Will USGOV be sending people from door-to-door to get sick and infect others?

How Much?

The question was put, how much will Hillary Clinton’s funeral cost? The guesses run north of $4 million. But for $4 million you could dump the corpse in Arizona and we’ll dig the hole so deep that we can present her to Satan personally.

31 thoughts on “Friday Follies

  1. Organic TP will be more available once we have green up here. Beware of inferior products. TP that comes in clusters of three are particularly to be avoided.

  2. I guess the local Cd'A Costco can't keep TP on the shelves. I've also heard the Spam is gone as well as the tuna. Good grief! People are nuts. We still don't have one single case of WuFlu in Idaho. Washington and Oregon: no assemblies over 250 peeps. What the hell is so magical about 250?

    The diocese of Boise has declared no communion on the tongue. Our church is old school traditional and we have a special dispensation. I can just about see our pastor saying, "Ummmm, no!"

  3. Just returned from 80 degrees and tropical to 22 degrees and frosty, which is just fine with me. Saw a smattering of people wearing various masks (that won't make a hill of beans difference) during our flights and airport sitting (took some Airborne to add some extra immune protection).

    For the most part everyone was going about their normal routine. Appears only those worried about lawsuits and the COVID19 Zombie Apocalypse are cleaning out stores and shuttering events because the Chicken Little media has them believing operating on the panic side is the correct response to getting a nasty cold.

    As for us, we've been gearing towards "self-quarantine" our entire lives…okay by us (and Schwann's delivers). Got plenty of organic TP here, and if need be, pine cones – when used correctly – work in a pinch.

    Census people usually don't come here, and when they do they look a little lost. We fill out one question: "How many people live here?", seal it up and send it back. None of that invasive Community Survey garbage they have no right to know.

    As for the "Past Blast" post…there's no need to make up stupid when real life has plenty. The guy fulfilled his obligation as contracted, unless there was some sort of defined guarantee of result…life just isn't that precise. Guess they won't be friends anymore.

  4. No TP to be had at Walmart and Vit C's gone too.

    Police deployed to supermarkets in Calgary. Huh.

  5. I was going to offer that sort of organic toilet paper free of charge to the People's Republic of China by way of thanks.

  6. I have enough Costco toilet paper to see me through the crisis just based on the normal supply that I have in the garage and the projected usage.

    COVID-19 will become more widespread and things will get more weird before they get better. Lessons will be learned from the experience and hopefully the dimwits who allowed China to make all the medicine used in the US will remedy that situation, or be stood up against a wall and shot.

  7. I think that the "guaranteed results" were verbally implied…

    Schwanns delivers in this area too, and in a pinch it would work. I've eaten their cherry vanilla ice cream and it's delicious but I'm trying to go low carb, which means no cherry vanilla and no Schwanns.

  8. Trudeau apparently has it. If his wife tested +, then he will as well because it's that infectious. And I really don't care whether or not Trudeau has the plague.

    The hoarding will continue as people are nuts.

  9. If there is any justice in the world, that breach of contract case would have been dismissed without merit in the first 15 seconds of the hearing. Next case.

    But lawsuits are certainly more civil than gunfire to settle disputes. There was a case study in my grad school law class at Oregon State (the Beavers) which saw two neighbors who had a hedge dividing their property and it was getting shaggy. With no hedge clippers available, they grabbed a power lawn mower, and held it up by the deck with each landowner holding up his side of the mower and they fired it up. After losing 7 fingers between them, they sued the lawn mower manufacturer.

    Guess how that one turned out?

  10. The lawnmower company was held liable by a jury of licensed drivers because there was no warning on the mower not to do that???

  11. The cost of Shillary's funeral can be offset by selling tickets to attend.

  12. I'd pay good money to attend. But I'd want to make sure that she's really dead. Maybe I could give $100 to put a bullet into the carcass' head?

  13. UPDATE – I haven't had anybody send money to get their organic toilet wipes mailed to them. This is distressing ;^)

    Each of you needs at least twenty bags. You can hoard it if you want to.

  14. The story about the German neighbors is likely a hoax. I checked into it because I was interested in whether or not Traute had managed to conceive and, if not,I had an idea. There is a website called LessWrong that looked into it.

  15. Helping attractive women who are in need of help might be a good night job for you. (Don't quit your day job) Explain that while the German neighbor situation may have been a hoax, that you're seriously able to assist.

  16. Empty shelves are The Bern's nirvana – looking like Soviet shelves, standing in line for a loaf of bread, and turning onto each other when product gets thin.

    Resorting to leaves and pine cones is the result. Yer onto somethin', fulfilling a clear market need…BUT…can you get the necessary Ziplocks?

  17. He thinks that all of the HIV drugs and anti-herpes medication that he's been taking will somehow protect him.

  18. CAMPERFIXER – If you've got the Benjamins, I have the ziplocks. Being a borderline hoarder and borderline prepper means that I have the wares sitting on metal shelving in the garage.

  19. Bernie would be happy if we were all eating tree bark like the North Koreans do in winter. But I predict that Bernie and his regime might not be as comfortable behind their walls with their guards as they'd like to be with an Armed America on the other side of the wire.

  20. Somehow I figured you'd be prepared in spades, the proverbial "prior planning prevents poor performance" (therefore no panicking) axiom.

    Checks in the mail, might be a slight delay as they may not pick it up for a month.

  21. BANDMEETING, who visits this blog may be able to confirm this. When ever I'm in his home town of Preskit (Prescott, AZ) and tell people that I have a home/compound in Happy Jack, I get this – look. People who live in relative isolation in compounds on the Mogollon Rim are (more less accurately) prepared as a bunch of wild eye'd preppers who'd as soon shoot you as wave at you. It's just rural Arizona. Same with rural Colorado. State your business and them move along unless I know you.

    The reaction of the UPS/FedEx drivers are more or less the same, "I'm just delivering a package, don't shoot me or set the hounds (or wolves) on me". It might be the claymore mines (which may or may not be dummies) or the biohazard sign. I can't say which.

  22. I still have a pile of sears and wards catalogues out in the shed. used to use them as a fire starter, now there is another use. Who says hoarding is a bad thing? I call it planning and foresight for those darker times we all know is coming.

  23. Well, yeah, Happy Jack is just a little remote (it’s also a great song but I digress) so you’d need some prep. I’m screwed if sprouts shuts down but I’d have an unlimited supply of javelina meat if thing get bad.

    I’d think a lot Preskitteers wouldn’t know of Happy Jack specifically but we sure do know our fair share of individualists.

  24. BANDMEETING, We have Javalina here. Most of them are to be found lingering in the little 3/7, 4/5 areas off Pine Valley and Blue Ridge where people feed them. I don't live in those settlement areas, but I know of the Javalina. I haven't seen any near my spread but there's nothing to draw them here. However, there's a lot of meat to harvest if harvesting needs to be done.

    CAPT Fast, Monkey Wards has been gone for a long time. I'm afraid I'd be stuck with Duluth Trading and might have to take out a subscription to Mother Jones if I really want to enjoy that business.

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