15 thoughts on “Firearms Essentials

  1. This may not be the method of choice…

    However, it is the right of every sovereign individual to exercise self-defense, and there is no time too soon to begin to take steps toward that end.

  2. If one is going to be robbed, we should all be so lucky to encounter an assailant who adopts the ultra modified urban grip.

  3. Yes, you have hope of surviving the encounter if only they adopt the inner city approach to shooting. Those around you might not be so lucky.

  4. I got a copy of this to show my hunting buddies in my country neighborhood. This will better help us to identify the Pantload supporters that come a visitin our neighborhood from the ghetto.

    Twitter Idiots tell us they're coming … well … OK.

  5. What your redneck buddies will understand after watching the video is that it's important to STAND STILL while inner city youths shoot at them – and then they can aim carefully and return fire knowing that they're perfectly safe.

  6. The Taunting would definitely cause me some grief.

    Urban Etiquette Question; Does one wait for the opposition's taunt to be completed before triple tapping back? Or am I supposed to rudely interrupt?

  7. No the taunting (much like a Maori spear dance) are really important, so you need to wait for them to rap at you before you rap back – punctuated with a few rounds for emphasis. You also have the opportunity to Axe a question or two. However, you really need to brush up on your ebonic gangster language if you hope to make yourself understood:

    i) In any English word with a contraction, eliminate the apostrophe and any letters after it.
    1) Is it alright if I rollerskate through the campus ?
    English) Yes, it's alright
    Ebonics) It OK
    ii) In a word ending in "d," substitute "dt" or "oodt."
    English) That's all very fine…
    Ebonics) That all reeeal gooudt….
    iii) In a word ending in "ore," eliminate everything after the first "o" and add an apostrophe.
    English) I won't tell you again, please shut the door.
    Ebonics) I ain tellin you no mo', shet de do' !!
    hint You can always add "foo" (fool) to any statement e.g. "I ain tellin you no mo', shet de do' foo!!
    iv) For suffixes with 2 identical consonants followed by "er," eliminate the "er."
    English) That Negro was larger and was holding a pistol.
    Ebonics) Mah nigga was bigga had his fingah on yo' trigga.
    v) In general, most "er"s are dropped and replaced by "ah."
    English) Tower of Power
    Ebonics) Towah of Powah
    vi) However, in the case of a plural, "ers" is replaced by "az."
    English) Negroes
    Ebonics) niggaz

    Now, a brief poem to illustrate all that you've learned today on this blog:
    They go my niggaz all up in da hooudt,
    Niggaz be pimpin' just like dey shooudt,
    Leroy drive his Caddy right into a dee-itch
    'Cause his punk-ass homey is too much of a bee-itch
    Sistah on the pipe she hit on da stem
    Homeboy got his ass in jail ageein'
    Got me a supakool layin' in da free-idge
    Niggaz be flyin' high off'n da bree-idge
    Sambo fucked up, he high on dat sherm
    Bustin up a cap hey cuz got de germ (revert to Super Modified Gangster stance by holding your package, tilting the pistol 90 degrees, elevating it and firing.

  8. When you think about it, eliminating your competition also (in a larger sense) eliminates the spice in life. By insuring that only innocent bystanders are killed, everyone lives to fight another day. The next time that you go to the range, I hope that you pass on both the modified and super modified crack dealer shooting stances.

  9. Just one more thing.
    When the inner city youths say: "Yo G, you frontin me?"
    They mean: "Excuse me, Woodsterman, are you attempting to influence me to engage you in a violent confrontation?"

  10. Ouch! I had no ideer. If I ever get in the aforementioned sit-e-ashun, I will respectfully listen to the first two stanzas before I begin BRASS X6, center mass.

  11. Double tap – fire for effect. But take your time because they'll be shooting people around and behind you while you're aiming. Speed is fine, accuracy is final.

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