Buying Landfill

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Tourist Traps

There isn’t much in the way of tourist traps in the White Wolf Mine area. Yes, of course, there is Sedona, which is beautiful in its setting, but it’s a lode stone for the weird and wanna-be weird. A lot of celebrities have summer/winter fifth homes in Sedona because it’s that sort of place. It’s not a high crime area. The police deliver ice to parties. I’m not knocking it. I rejected living there because of the price and then I spent more on the hovel than I would have on equal square footage in Sedona.

Most of what you find in tourist stores in Sedona is crystals to heal your various ills, aroma therapy, and palmistry. Almost every cult in the world has an “education center” in or near Sedona. They will tell you that there is a mystic power to the red rocks, beyond just being red rocks. “It’s the vortexes,” one prosperous merchant told me. It brought space aliens here anciently and it brings people here today (to buy t-shirts).

But wait, an alternative exists! You can stand on the corner in Winslow, Arizona. (Such a fine sight to see) My daughter Heather, who shares my love for the Eagles’ music wanted to stand on that very corner made legend by the song, “Take it Easy”.

And when you’re at the tourist destination, people want to buy stuff that they will throw away – the miracle of merchandizing-to-landfill.

Is there anything else to do in Winslow? No. Unless you want to go an auto parts store. There are quite a few of those. There’s also a state prison where the population (I’m told) is about 90% feather (as opposed to red dot) Indians. Other than that, jump on I-40 and head east to the crater where they will charge you $35 to look at a big hole in the ground. At the crater, they will sell you stuff to take home and throw away too.

Nobody merchandises landfill the way that Disney does. But there isn’t a Disney Adventure Park anywhere close.

If you go west from Winslow on I-40, there is Bearizona. You can buy stuffed teddy bears there to remind you of your time driving through a field with a few pines a lot of bears in it.

The Value of Celery Juice

My daughters are all drinking celery juice. I suspect that it’s the latest fad. The claim made by “health experts” is that it cures just about everything, and you’ll live forever. I tried to convince them that blending raw turkey livers and adding that to their witch’s would enhance the experience, but they’re too clever to fall for that at this point in their lives.

I like celery. The juice isn’t that bad, but my reaction to the action of the juice is not happy in the least. So until the girls start eating a pound of ground up raw turkey liver mixed into their celery juice, I won’t be taking part in this miracle of blending.

Florida Man Denies

The police rarely catch the smart ones.

(LINK) A Florida man says three syringes removed from his rectum during a jail strip search aren’t his, according to an arrest report. 

Wesley Scott, 40, was arrested early Friday morning in Pinellas County on an outstanding drug possession warrant. 

Scott told law enforcement officers he had nothing on him when they searched him in the field. 

When he arrived at the jail, however, that is when he removed the syringes and told officials they were not his.

Maybe he was just keeping them safe for a friend. That’s friendship… 

24 thoughts on “Buying Landfill

  1. It's truly amazing what some folks will insert in their rectal storage compartments. I take it there were no needles attached to those syringes. Or were there?

  2. Maybe some vodka would make that celery juice palatable. As for turkey livers, they would be best used as fish bate.

  3. As to fish bait, I feel the same way toward Velveeta cheese that I do about turkey livers — bait.

  4. I've always wanted to visit Sedona to see i. the witches ii. the ufos

    Is there an Episcopalien cathedral in Sedona? There should be.

    Be careful.

  5. Sedona is also an Artsy fartsy crowd, right? It was when I visited back around 1990. They had an art gallery of every corner and inbetween.

    As far as the syringes go … I think I'll stick to nude coffin lying.

  6. I hear that one can buy turquoise jewelry in Sedona by the ton. The ancient aliens back then taught the Anasazi how to make the stuff, and they never forgot.

  7. The Episcopalian church has an annex on the property, a center for Lesbian Interpretive Dance (and a wicca gift shop). All there in Sedona.

  8. More for my daughter, the Eagles fan. She's given me concert tickets to Eagles concerts twice. One was the Hell Freezes Over Tour and the other was History of the Eagles. So it was fun for her. The boys didn't understand the whole standing on the corner thing.

  9. Lots of art galleries. Lots of rich trust fund children hanging about looking for nirvana (the spiritual connection, not the rock band), and homosexuals looking to get buggered.

  10. …which leads me to a cautionary note about nude coffin laying there. Make sure that the mortuary lays you FACE UP.

  11. Much of the turquoise is fake, injected with blue plastic under high pressure in China, and shipped in bulk to the USA. I have had luck finding turquoise in NV and AZ. The first thing you do is find an area known to be rich in copper (lends its color to the stones). Then you wait for monsoon rain to blast the area and walk about. It's not a sure thing. Not as sure as the Chinese method.

  12. My wife and I were in Sedona about the same time Woodsterman was, 1990. What gave us both the biggest laugh was a map of the vortexes we bought on the way out of some restaurant. It talked about things like "magnetic yin vortexes" or "electric yang vortexes"; male and female vortexes, and other wackiness like that.

    The part that cracked us up was that there was a section on the natural history of the area that opened up with "Geology is not an exact science…" Srsly? And yin and yang vortexes are an exact science?

  13. Your post brings back fond memories of a trip my Bride and I took to the Southwest a few years ago. We spent most of our time on natural wonders — the Grand Canyon, Monument Valley, Bryce Canyon, etc. — but we also *had* to follow Route 66 (we're both old enough to remember the 60s TV series) to Winslow. Some of the flyspeck towns along the way are a hoot — delightful nostalgia, complete with signs along the road from our grandparents' generation (If You Don't Know / Whose Signs These Are / You Haven't Driven / Very Far / BURMA SHAVE). Now, Winslow may not actually be the Middle of Nowhere but, as the saying goes, you can see it from there. So far as I can tell, the statue and the wall mural behind it (a well-rendered image of a girl, my Lord, in a flatbed Ford, reflected in a window) are the entire reason for the town's existence. We were certainly not alone in standing on that corner, but what surprised me were some of the people there who seemed to have no idea why they were in Winslow in the first place. For example, I chatted with four middle-aged Swiss gentlemen who asked me, what is the meaning of the statue of the boy with a guitar? Through a miracle of modern technology I happened to have "Take it Easy" on my phone so I played it for them and all was explained. A triumph of international relations!

  14. Yes, mystic crystals impart secret knowledge to those who are in tune with the vortexes. Obviously YOU and MRSSiGRAYBEARD are not initiates into those mysteries. You could be if you'd paid some jumped up hoo-doo witch doctor and went through the sensory deprivation class.

    One day when science acknowledges alchemy and witchcraft as THE only valid answers to tough science questions, you're going to be the one who was embarrassed. There were all those vortexes swirling about and you missed the boat.

  15. As with so many places in the American backwater, Winslow existed/exists because of the railroad. And maybe Glenn Frey found true romance? The fog of history obscures much.

  16. Lots of place here in the West existed for the railroad. Many of the little cities up and down the rail line through here are named for railroad employees.

    Just some of the trivia I've picked up since moving here…..

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