TV Preppers

Blog Post
LSP and I had a discussion of the value of being a television prepper this past week. On these TV shows, normal people explain how their homemade defensive systems will defeat the godless hoards of inner city people/zombies who are coming to take their 30 year supply of beef jerky & clean water and to ravish their plump, frumpy women who have just as many teeth as the average jack-o-lantern.

General George S. Patton jr. said, “Fixed fortifications are monuments to the stupidity of man.” With due respect to the TV preppers who advertise their pathetic efforts, Gen. Patton forgot more about combat than these well intentioned people ever knew.
And sadly for the preppers, it usually doesn’t take anyone who was as astute as Patton to put them under the sod, take their food, water and ‘earth mother’ women as slaves. 
This is my point. If you are going to prepare for the end, you shouldn’t advertise it. I myself take prudent precautions against possible calamity from earthquakes to civil unrest. But my neighbors don’t know much about what those precautions are (beyond the neighborly Muslims who have tried to assert themselves and found the first line of defense). 
If the inner city people arrive at the gates of your compound demanding that you and yours “surrender the booty” you’ve likely screwed up your preparations beyond all proportion to reality and rationality.

24 thoughts on “TV Preppers

  1. General Patton never surrendered the booty, I think it was always the other way around.

  2. The Germans found out where the point of the spear was during every campaign that Patton fought in. It was wherever he was.

  3. There was once a bird that was late flying south for the winter. A snow storm caught it on the branch of a tree and it fell to the ground as if dead. As it happened, a cow walked past that very spot and dumped a steaming pile on the little bird. Disaster averted, or so it would seem. But the bird, objecting to the hot pile of manure, chirped loudly in protest.

    A cat came by, pawed the manure away and ate the little chirping bird.

    Moral to the story: (A) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy (B) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend (C) Better to be dumped on than dead.

  4. Don't kill anyone who's not trying to get into your house. Distance from weapon to target is usually minimal and you stand a far better chance of hitting your target. Also, you should know what to hide behind until firing time. Shoot several times from as close as possible.

  5. Always amazes when folks tell other folks where all their goodies are hidden and how they are going to handle incoming. I can't even begin to count the times I have inadvertently over heard those informative conversations!

  6. A lot of hot air usually issues from people who wish to impress others as to their preparations. Best not impress anyone. Just do what is necessary and let the rest be.

  7. Brig: At first I thought you were talking about Hillary Clinton's preferred method of transportation — I thought that you said broomstick.

  8. aah, would more likely use a boom stick to blow the evil lying one off her broomstick…

  9. Preppers are just like Patton said: monumentally stupid. If the shit hits the fan, fortified positions are going to be everybody's super market. If there are defensive measures evident to the displaced mobs, this means one thing and one thing only: something worth taking is behind those defenses.

    And then the assault by the mobs begins. Sure, you dumb ass preppers can pick off the first hundred marauders. The second hundred start getting close to breaching the defenses, and those inside the compound get worried. It's those third, fourth, fifth……sixty third hundreds that will be eating your beef jerky and enslaving your women, and torturing you and your stupid asswipe prepper buddies.

    It is simply a numbers game. Preppers have maybe 10 to 50 defenders, tops defending a fortified position, which will be exposed sooner or later. The displaced mobs can number in the millions, and will find you, sooner rather than later. Do the math, you stupid asswipe preppers.

    Here's what will save you in the short term when the shit hits the fan. Be ready to move out. Have lots of ordinance with you, and be mobile. Highly mobile. And don't be old. Or fat. Or stupid. Or lazy. Or female. In the short term, you will be fine. In the medium and long term, you had better think of either forming a roving army yourself, and be ruthless in enforcing discipline, and sleep with one eye open, never trust anybody, and you might survive in the medium term.

    In the long term, after the shit hits the fan, everybody is dead, anyway. Average life span will be 35. If that. Life will be hard, brutal and short. And preppers will have been the very first to bite the dust.

  10. Yes, my philosophy is to form my own marauding band of vigilantes…It's really the only way to insure survival. And preppers provide the perfect "Costco" for resupply.

  11. I agree with Fredd. Be highly mobile — like an irregular cavalry unit that includes canon and trebuchets. Maybe a couple of trench mortars.

    The Costco is yours.

  12. Yes, mortars are a VERY good idea. The only problem with modern mortars is ammo. However exploding shells in black powder mortars work very well and you can place them in standard mortar pits. The only problem is moving them (very heavy). The Dallas Light Cav (Irregular) can handle the problem.

  13. And yes, I'm working on a supply of authentic, issue Ghurka kukris for all DLC personnel. I'm thinking that I may be working my way from regular troop sergeant up to supply sergeant and artillery scrounger…

  14. I'll be sure to speak to logistics about transport. And for sure, supply sergeant, at least. Perhaps a whole new rank is called for? It's an irreg unit, after all.

Comments are closed.

Scroll to top