This Sunday Sermonette begins with a confession: 
There are times when there is a lull between this and that and I’m at the computer. There are always web graphic stories to browse. The reason that I pick that medium is that it’s graphic, they move fast and you can set them aside and pick up the plot a day, a week, or a month later by simply returning to where you left off and bouncing ahead. It’s a comic strip,  so you get it, or you don’t and you simply move on.

This ends the confession.

Schlock Mercenary is a comedic web-comic written and drawn by Howard Tayler. It follows the tribulations of a star-travelling mercenary company in a satiric, mildly dystopian 31st century space opera. The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries is a popular handbook in the Schlock Mercenary universe.

There is a lot of wisdom that ushers forth from this place that you may find useful. I will give you the first few of the 70 Maxims…

  • Pillage, then burn. (The inner city people in Baltimore get it)
  • A sergeant in motion outranks a lieutenant who doesn’t know what’s going on. An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks everybody
  • Close air support and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart. 
  • If violence wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.
  • If the food is good enough the grunts will stop complaining about the incoming fire. 
  • Mockery and derision have their place. 
  • Never turn your back on an enemy.
  • Everything is air-droppable at least once. 
  • A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head. 
  • Do unto others. 
  • “Mad Science” means never stopping to ask “what’s the worst thing that could happen?” 
  • Only you can prevent friendly fire.
Yes, they are words to live by.


  1. There are times that inner city people got it backwards — but I think that they're on top of it now.

  2. And never turn your back on the enemy…learn from the claymore mine: Front Toward Enemy…because they had to print it on the mine.

  3. Hey now, I USE "Mad Science"… We only occasionally ask "what's the worst thing that could happen?"

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