Who Might it Be?
DISCLAIMER: The following list of names and comments are taken verbatim from Biden’s list and do not reflect the views of The Babylon Bee.
Queen Latifa: She’s black, female, and sassy! That’s a win-win-win scenario.
Michelle Obama: Barack will kill me if I don’t nominate her.
Rachel Dolezal: A woman who is also black.
Whoopi Goldberg: She was a nun. That’ll help me look Catholic! Actually– maybe we can just replace the whole court with The View. They all self-identify both as black and as female. Gotta’ ask Dr. Jill.
Aunt Jemima: I can’t believe they fired that poor woman. The Pearl Mining Company just wants to keep her in chains!
Mrs. Butterworth: She’s probably black. I can’t tell.
Peter Dinklage: He could use a boost.
Xi Jinping: We already have a good working relationship.
Greta Thunberg: Our court would be well served by this infallible child of light. She’s black, right?
Hunter Biden: He should fit right in. This may be the easiest nominee to push through. Gotta’ tell Jill.
Donald Trump: The only way to keep him from running for President.
Vladimir Putin: The only way to keep him from invading Ukraine.
Kamala Harris: The only way to keep her from killing me. Plus, she’s black! (Editor’s Note: The word ‘black’ was circled three times)
Noticeably absent from the list is former Obama appointee, Merrick Garland. Sources confirm he doesn’t tick any intersectional boxes which makes him a major liability.
Identify both Tanks (in German livery)