Seasonal Cautionary Note

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I’ve been to a few office Christmas parties. Some of them end up not all that far off from the one cited above. If you are off to the seasonal gathering tonight remember…that you may not remember in the morning. But others certainly will.
However you decide to spend your holiday gatherings, I send you wishes of joy and merriment.
Look at her eyes. She clearly needs another couple of drinks. 

Some additional guidance:

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage is the one that will go wrong.

If nothing can go wrong, something will.

Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

19 thoughts on “Seasonal Cautionary Note

  1. I'm only trying to help. You know me…part of my job as adjutant with the Dallas Light Cavalry (Irregular)

  2. As an ex submarine sailor, I think I know a few things about this subject. IE: #1 Don't ever! #2 Just crash at the snake ranch. I never went to a ships party or office party. I however, have many stories of the results obtained by others. Enough said.

  3. With the ship's party structure there is "dining in" and "dining out". Dining in isn't so bad because your shipmates usually care for you if you're in the grip of the grape — for they know that the pendulum swings two ways. Dining out can be dangerous. Once, I woke up on a lawn in Santee, CA next to a stolen car that somebody else MUST have swiped, wearing a mixed Navy and Marine Corps uniform (Navy blues and USMC captains khaki shirt), no shoes.

    I walked to a shopping center bought a shirt, jeans and sneakers and took a taxi back to NAB Coronado. Thankfully I kept my trousers with my wallet in them.

  4. My Christmas Office-Party experience is pallid and unworthy. Stanford instituted draconian killjoy regulations involving food-spending and alcohol shortly after I began work there, and none of the other businesses I worked for thereafter were much better.

  5. Man, I am so sorry. The combination of holiday good will, the natural flow of booze and the camaraderie of males and females working together naturally leads to…dare I say…love. This is the thing. Everyone can blame it on the booze. And when you are met by a steely gaze as you drift home on Saturday morning, the thoroughly believable can't blasts from your lips (whether you are a man or woman):

    "I had to go to a motel last night because I was too drunk to drive home. No, I tried to call a cab but it didn't show up. It was snowing. Of course I was by myself. {alternatively} Joe/Josephine from work slept in the other bed, and man did he/she snore. Call him/her if you don't believe me."

    Since it takes two to tango, yes, both genders end up in the same fix.

    Naturally as an impassive observer of the human condition, I only watched mutely, and did not returned home as a soiled dove.

  6. P. S. Cell phones in the more modern era have made denials just a bit more complex – but you can always toss it in a sink full of water and claim that it dropped in the toilet.

  7. You must have been with the best of friends to have kept your wallet and your pants…

    I've been in the back of beyond a mite too long, and obviously led a very sheltered life….sigh

  8. I really don't recall. The automatic sprinklers brought me around and I said, "Hello world". I didn't get into trouble behind the faux pas, and learned a valuable lesson in the process. I think that the stolen pick-up belonged to the shirt's owner but never found out.

  9. Shooting apples off our captives' heads are one of my favorite things to do at mess nights. Shot of Cuervo, take a shot. Shot of Cuervo, take a shot. Shot of Cuervo, take a shot.

  10. After this exchange I looked through a sea bag in the garage and found the USMC shirt. Still have it after all these years. I guess that I kept it in much the way that an Amazon Basin hunter would keep a shrunken head.

  11. My ex got pregnant on the day my older brother graduated from college. Good party, that one. But you staff safe in what ever you do, and enjoy those new grand babys if you can. And I hope Santa is good to all of you.

  12. It is interesting the things that we hang on to, the stories they can tell to no one but the person that kept them…

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