Schools Should Eliminate the Letter “L”

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The kid was only playing with his food.
(Fox News) Seven-Year-Old Joshua Welch was suspended on March 1 from Park Elementary School in Brooklyn Park, Maryland. The school has a breakfast “snack time” and provided pasteries. Joshua says he was eating a pastry during snack time and trying to shape it into a mountain, the teacher said it looked like a gun and took him to the principal’s office. Josh, who suffers from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, said his teacher was visibly mad when she saw that the pastry looked like a gun, according to the report.
Joshua’s parents were called, he has been suspended for two days. Joshua’s father says it’s ridiculous since no one was threatened or harmed by the pastry. A letter will be going home to all students of Park Elementary School this afternoon. School officials declined to comment.
One can only wonder what would have happened if he’d pointed at another child. We know that a pointed finger is code for, “I’m armed and dangerous”.
Artist’s simulation of Josh in 12 years when he’s fighting a foreign
war that politicians start without considering how it should end.
The way I look at it, Joshua got off light. If he’d had cut out an L shape of construction paper with blunted scissors, the FREAK teacher would have called the police because we all know that an L is really a firearm.
Progressives need to lobby Congress to eliminate the letter “L” from the alphabet to avoid any possibility of confusing a cut out of the letter with a handgun.
One thing is certain. If there were no more L’s, progressives would sleep a little more soundly at night. You could also surgically remove the index fingers of all Americans, thus making them unable to pull the trigger of a firearm, though just not having “L” anymore would be a solid interim move until we could get all of the children in for their amputations.

8 thoughts on “Schools Should Eliminate the Letter “L”

  1. Quite frankly, I quake in my boots when I see someone holding a paper cut out of an "L". It's one of those terrifying things that can be safely ended once and for all.

  2. You don't have to worry about it. There is no "L" in WoFat. LL, however, becomes "2 Gun".

  3. If this never happened…would the parents know what was going on at the school?

    Our children are exposed to so much more crap than we were. A friend put his child in a private Christian school, at around $5000 a year for 1st grade. Within a month the child had learned that because of deforestation, we were having more tornados. Now, I'm in favor of trees, and against tornados, but c'mon man!

  4. Good point.

    But how can you possibly vet all of the teachers at a given school and given that, could you manage to direct your child to one teacher or another? The logical answer is that parents need to engage in at least a form of home schooling – such as your friend did. It's the only way to figure out how to deal with that sort of pseudo science and progressive 'crap' that our educators foist on the young and vulnerable as 'reality'.

    As I understand it, all children in California public schools are required to go through GLTG training/sensitivity courses. If I had kids in school, I'd be working to disabuse them of what they were learning. I'm not certain that private schools are better.

    Me at grocery store – standing in the check out line years ago with my daughter – behind tatted out slime ball with long greasy hair, paying with food stamps.

    Daughter: "Daddy is that a dirtbag?"

    Dirtbag gives me a mad-dog which I return, inching my hand toward my waistband just in case.

    Me: "Yes, sweetheart, THAT is a dirtbag."

    My daughter married a police officer.

  5. my gosh… people are so ;asldkfja stupid…what would we then teach them when it comes to the alphabet.. or words…hmm I ove you.. ive ong and prosper..

  6. I don't know how progressive people can be so predictably stupid. Missing gene or something?

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