Navy News (h/t Claudio)

I have a difficult time getting my head around this announcement (more here)  but the US Navy wants to stop its string of ship building failures. Wow. There have been a lot of failures. So many that one would think they were deliberate. I guess nobody consulted a fifth grader before moving forward on them.

The Zumwalt Class DDG/Cruisers, which fired long range shore bombardment projectiles at $800K EACH, was something that wet dreams were made of in the DC Beltway. I wonder how many captains made admiral behind the Zoom? Before the program crashed…

Apparently there are some admirals who are tired of being the butt of jokes because everything that they are turning out doesn’t work as intended. Keep in mind that a trained chimp could have predicted the outcome of the recent boondoggles and accidents at sea that plagued them.

The FFG(X) program, wherein the US bought a proven Italian design, is moving forward and there are a lot of us who are hopeful that it will signal a change.


ROK SLBM’s (h/t Claudio)

Thanks for pointing out this development, Claudio.

It’s not the least bit surprising that the Koreans (South Korea) are developing submarine launched ballistic missiles. No, they don’t have nuclear weapons now, but they REALLY, REALLY want them. I can recall being a serving US Naval officer in Korea, working with my counterparts and that’s all that they could talk about.

So now they are taking steps to manage their own (nuclear) deterrent for when they get the bomb. The US is not a reliable ally. Jo and Ho are emblematic of that problem and they need to look to their own defense. Who can blame them? The only question now is how long it will take them to deploy their own nuclear weapons.


This Month in History

January 13, 1848, the British and Sikhs fought to a bloody draw at the Battle of Chillianwala.

A modest force (13,000 men and 66 guns) of the British East India Company’s Bengal Army, commanded by Sir Hugh “Paddy” Gough, unexpectedly encountered a much larger Sikh army of 30-40,000 troops and an equal number of guns under Sirdar (General) Sher Singh, near the village of Chillianwalla in the Northwestern Indian province of the Punjab. The first major battle of the Second Anglo-Sikh War, Chillianwala was one of the bloodiest battles ever fought by British East India Company forces.

Advancing through terrain broken-up by jungle and scrub, against an enemy on higher ground and well supported by artillery, the British and Sepoy regiments took heavy casualties. The 24th Regiment of Foot (later made famous for its actions against Zulus at Isandlwana and Roark’s Drift) became disorganized and separated from the other attached units of its brigade and took particularly heavy casualties (approx 50%) trying to storm the Sikh guns. The regiment lost its colors, and the brigade’s commander was killed.

The battle ended in a draw, with the British driving the Sikhs back, but withdrawing the next day from the area. But British loss of prestige, particularly among their own Indian subjects, would have long-term consequences. Nine years later vassal Indian princes would feel emboldened enough to support the Mutiny that erupted within the Bengal Army, turning it into a national revolt against British rule.

British casualties in the battle were 757 killed, 1,651 wounded, 104 missing; for a total of 2,512. Sikh casualties are estimated to be 3,600.

Chillianwala became synonymous in British military parlance with a tactical battle turned into “bloody shambles”. After the disastrous charge of the Light Brigade, Lord Lucan remarked “This is a most serious matter”; to which General Airey replied, “These sort of things will happen in war. It is nothing to Chillianwala.”

Ordering a Pizza in 2021

CALLER: Is this Pizza Delight?

GOOGLE: No sir, it’s Google Pizza.

CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Pizza Delight last month.

CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.

GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER: My usual? You know me?

GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

CALLER: OK! That’s what I want …

GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?

CALLER: What? I detest vegetable!

GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER: How the hell do you know!

GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.

GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.

CALLER: I bought more from another drugstore.

GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

CALLER: I paid in cash.

GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

CALLER: I have other sources of cash.

GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.


GOOGLE: I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

CALLER: Enough already! I’m sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I’m going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago…


  1. Navy news – to misquote: No military organization can rise above its leaders, who in turn cannot rise above their Congress….

    • I think that quote is accurate.

      The Navy brass are settling back down, and accepting that their bullshit over the past few years has caused them to lack credibility. They really hate the SEALs (who serve JSOC, where the Army likes them) and wish that they’d behave in a more corporate way. The SEALs don’t fit in the brown shoe or black shoe navy, so they’re mistrusted by the big deck and aviation admirals. They don’t like that the SEAL operators drift to places like Black Water or CIA Special Activities or elsewhere and make a lot more money when the Navy messes with them. Most black shoe types can’t leave and make $300K per year.

  2. The Navy got sold a “Bill of Goods” on the Zoomie, Ford, and Little Crappy Ships.

    A main gun with million dollar bullets, and they don’t work “As Advertised”.

    A carrier that not only has bad cats, but bad arresting gear, too.

    You could write a book about the LCS’s failings….

    Good for the ROKs. They deserve a stable defense. All the Koreans I’ve met have been decent, honest, hard working people. Just stay away from Korean women lawyers…..

    • I have to ask drjim, a personal experience with a Korean Woman lawyer? were you eviscerated, hung out to dry kind of personal? I know the feeling, that was what my wife used in our divorce, turned me and my lawyer every which way but loose and even had the Judge flummoxed.

      • Cederq, I think that DRJIM refers to my comment in an earlier blog about a female Korean lawyer. I had some fun at her expense.

      • Per LL’s reply, I had a best buddy whose older brother was a “Slip-and-Fall” lawyer, aka Abulance Chaser. He had a female (I hesitate to call her a lady) Korean lawyer who was absolutely bloodthirsty. She was like something out of a movie or book. Extremely attractive, very smart, very good at her job, and I wouldn’t turn my back on her.

        Just creeped me out….

  3. The time to experiment with wunderweapons is never. Evolutionary designs, not revolutionary designs.

    The Marines wanted a gunned-cruiser to provide fire support. They wanted a gun that handled all NATO standard 155mm rounds, and maybe that precision-guided round the Army has. They wanted something that worked. That could provide continuous fire so as to allow the Marines to get their own artillery (of 155mms firing the same damned rounds) set up. But nooooooooooooo…. That wasn’t good enough. Must have Wunderweapons! Put the V2 gun on the V3 ship…

    Not even going to address the LCS issue. That boondoggle, well, money should have been spent on developing an actual time machine so the SEALS could go back in time and strangle the parents of the people who dreamed up and supported that floating freak palace.


    And if we wanted a USA designed ship, we could have gone with the evolved and lengthened National Security Cutter variant, derived from the Coast Guard’s National Security Cutter, that does everything that the LCSessesss did/were supposed to do, for less money, better range, and the NCS worked. We didn’t have to go FREMM. But we can’t have the Navy using Coastie ships because that would be bad think or something.

    Yes, the FREMMs are great ships. They work, carry big guns (in comparison to the LCSessesss, who can’t fire their guns unless the handrails around the fore-deck are physically removed before firing) and are as modular or more modular than the LCSessessessssssss…sss…ssssssss…..)

    But we could have fielded a native design. Heck, there was an evolved mini-Arleigh-Burke design that basically was equivalent of the FREMM and the lengthened and evolved NCS variant.

    At least with the FREMM we might actually see hulls in our fleet within a few years. Rather than spending 10 more years deciding on the suppliers of the tools to make the tools to bend THAT one piece of metal…

    Friggin Pentagon purchasing procedures. And F! congress for making everything a friggin political discussion lasting 10 years.

    Here’s a clue. Find 4 yards that can make the FF design. Okay. Each yard gets to make 2. Each yard must put up a bond in case they blow it to cover fixing their screwups. If they fuck up the manufacture, charge too much, screw something up or aren’t able to meet the deadline, I don’t care a rat’s ass who owns the yard and who the congresscritter is or which admiral is being paid under the table. As a yard screws up, they put up their bond and fix the issue. If the issue isn’t cleared up in a timely and monetary manner, yard goes Buh-Bye. Seriously, how many Frigs do we need? 20-30 or more? Geez, get 10 yards working on it. 20. Give that small yard that makes 200′ fishing ships a chance at being a component supplier (seriously, if you can build a ship to be used in the Bering Sea 10 months out of the year, you can build a friggin hull component or even a whole hull.)

    And the FORD? Went too far to be evolutionary, went into revolutionary with the e-catapult, that if one goes down, all go down. Brilliant. ABSOFRIGGIN LUTELY BRILLIANT. Who was the knob-knocker who didn’t specify each cat has to be a separate system, controlled separately, supplied separately. NOT INTEGRATED TOGETHER. MORONS!!! IMBECILES!!! CRETINS!!! BUFFOONS!!! WALLOONS!!!!!! Every executive or senior officer involved in that screwup should be stapled to fence posts facing a road, and a convoy of every naval aviator drive by and do a group bitch-slap at 60mph, with baseball bats or golf clubs or naval aviator quality watches or something.

    We’ve been making good nuke carriers since 1958 (well, actually before, but that’s when the Nuke-E was commissioned) and they all worked, sometimes too well (I’ve heard stories of max speed drills and turns at max speed and they all exceed what the posted stats state, by a lot) and we can’t make a friggin Ford class work? What the actual Hel. Maybe we need Hel. To come snatch the loses and idiots and drag their scruffulous souls to the frozen plains….


    You can tell that this subject doth peeve me totally, yes?

    But, Beans, that’s not how the system works! So? The system is supposed to give our fighting people the best equipment at a reasonable cost at a reasonable time. Screwups like the M1Carbine ammo issue in the Korean War (using Garand powder to make Carbine powder) and the same damned thing happening, using the wrong powder in the M-16 ammo, shouldn’t happen.

    • CDR Salamander has been all over the ship…(what’s a good word/phrase for intentional screwups to milk money from the system – institutionalized graft?) for some time now.

      • CDR Salamander knows his stuff. I respect him. Bryan McGrath is his buddy (McGrath hates me), and while McGrath does know his decks, our politics differs sharply. Bryan has several friends who try and steer him right but when it comes to politics, he’s a hammer head. Rubio would have made him SECNAV had he become president, and he wasn’t on President Trump’s radar.

        • I go to CDR Salamander often to stay up on whats happening in the navy. I also go to Navy Matters and that guy is none to happy with the Navy brass. Two different guys but both wanting the same thing, accountability, more training, and better ships.
          The issues with the Navy is also a problem with the other branches. The Army has spent a fortune on finding a new IFV among other boondoggles. I dont know what to think about the f-35, is it the greatest thing ever, or another money pit? Are the marines moving in the right direction with the changes they are making?
          All throughout the government we obviously have people that hate the country as founded. Why would the military be any different? I think some of these mistakes could be being done purposely. Hate to say it, and it may piss some off but you have to question the motives of some of those in charge.

          • Sorry to bring bad news Beans, but it looks like the US FREMM is going to have exactly the same 57mm as the LCS. IDK why we didn’t order it with a 3″ SuperRapid, but they don’t ask me for advice.


  4. And why shouldn’t the ROKs have nukes. The NORKs have nukes. The ChiComs have nukes. The Pakis and Indians have nukes. The murder-tribes in South Africa now have nukes (and that really friggin scares me. I mean, yeah, apartheid bad, yada yada, but now we have tribal idiots in charge of nukes? Yikes!!!)

    I can see the ROC nuke now, 1/3rd the size of a normal nuke, costs 1/4 the price of anyone else’s, works 100 percent of the time and comes with a KPOP soundtrack with holographic KPOP chicks dancing…

    • The ROK has been dependent on USGOV support militarily for a long time if you read the pulp, but the reality is that Big Army has been there to keep them from going north.

      The ROK might attack the Norks, but they’re Koreans too, and it wouldn’t take much at all for them turn those nukes toward Japan and go gangman style ( on them. And before you dismiss that entirely, the ROKs have entertained that scenario as payback for the way that Japan treated them in WW2. There is a long national memory for the rape of Korea.

      • Hmm. Brings to mind the age old question. “The Japanese: Nuked too much or not enough.” I guess lots of guys what got shot up/shot at on Iwo and Peleliu and a host of other shitty little islands would say “not soon enough” ya-think?

        • Meh.

          I assume the RoKs have all the pieces to assemble nukes on short notice, as do the Japanese. It isn’t like they don;t have the technical and production know-how, and they’d be idiots not to. Maybe it’s just me, but they don’t seem like idiots.

          The RoK baby Boomer post-conquest Vengeance Weapon development plan is just good sense.


          • The Pakis have been peddling warheads to all buyers – mainly Saudis, but ROK and ROC? Why not. Their money spends the same as everyone elses.

    • “I can see the ROC nuke now”
      Interesting typo. Yeah, I can see the Republic of China nuke too. Can’t imagine they don’t have the capability to make one, or a few. Delivering them is another question. I’m sure someone here has good info on ROC potential delivery systems, but I sure don’t. That said, if I had say exactly one nuke to use against China, what would I go for? Military base? Major population center? What? How about taking out the Three Gorges Dam? That would cause maximum chaos per boom, I’m thinking.

      I thought the competent tribe in RSA dismantled their nukes on their way out of power. (They’re ALL tribes, regardless of melanin levels.)

      • The ROC’s have decent ballistic missiles. The Yun Feng cruise missile has a 1000-2000 km range on it and they’re difficult to shoot down because cruise missiles fly nap of the Earth. It wouldn’t take more than one, small, tactical nuke to open the gateway to the Three Gorges Dam.

        The question better put, is how thoroughly the PRC has infiltrated the people who would deploy and fire the weapon(s).

  5. Siri on my phone does that to me and then gets offended when I curse at it. I also tell my Alexa really weird stuff on purpose and now she won’t play what I want on Spotify. I unplugged her. Who’s the loser now, eh Lexy babes.

  6. You mean the Navy “process” guys lifted their heads and saw what they were doing wasn’t good? Maybe there’s a slim bit of hope for 2021 yet. (tongue firmly planted in cheek)

    That Google thing, not too far off. Tried to speak with an actual Clerk n Recorder person the other day. Wasn’t happening…extended instruction vmail was all that was available…oh, and the typical well used brushoff, “go to our website for further information”, as if that wasn’t already tried by yours truly. (Yes, our betters do believe us peons are in 3rd Grade and need baby step instructions, although looking around these days maybe that’s partially true for half of the populace.) Then there was THIS – stated without a hint of embarrassment: “Due to Covid safety concerns we are not renewing passports at this time.” Cowards. Okay, fine, I really don’t want to travel outside the US right now, but WTH. The slow creep down the Socialist rabbit hole continues.

      • True…Petty’s “Freefalling” comes to mind as the lunatic Constitution-haters gleefully accelerate off the cliff into the abyss.

          • Sorry, I’ll repent and watch my reeducation video and be happy with a chilly bunk too far from the stove.

            Uh, yeah, no…about ready to go full East Coast if they drop the next-next-next shoe. Time for a hike to clear the free radicals.

            Btw, head over to Irish’s and read “The Man” post from this morning…got a bit dusty here once finished. God Speed to protect him and his family from the evil b***tards.

          • According to critical race theory, you might get more respect from the local Clerk-Recorder’s Office if you started self-identifying as an oppressed minority. Show up in a burka.

          • So you’re saying I should wear a black mask, which is a step closer to a compliance Burka. Hey, I could be just like most of those walking around town then, rebreathing their own exhale for 10 hours a day while becoming more mind-numbed.

            Nah…I like my healthy immune system and clear head, but duly noted.

          • No, not a black mask, a big black tent with a screen over the eye hole and wear gloves and sensible shoes. Call yourself by an Islamic name that pleases you – find one that is gender neutral if you can (more woke still). Better if you don’t bathe for a few weeks so that the aroma that wafts from the eye hole is more convincing to the Clerk-Recorder.

            The mask is just a step on the path to the tent anyway – beat everyone else to it, be a trend setter, an influencer, genderless, and Muslim – because you can’t be prejudiced or racist or sexist in anyway if you’re so identified. Look at Ilhan Omar or that black congressperson who shaves its head (I’m grasping for the proper pronouns here). The more wretched and hideous you appear (while covered by a tent) the more satisfactory you are to the left.

          • Campferfixerstan…new name for the hovel. From here on out my new Covid20 compliance name is “Achmed Haasbeen Fahrteen”

    • It’s not quite as simple as that. I think the odds that they have half a dozen nuclear warheads is good. What are the odds that the PRC has infiltrated their nuke program?

      The invasion has to be sanction by the oligarchs that run America now. Does anyone seriously think that the “football” in a Biden regime would contain the capacity to order a nuclear launch? Joe will eat his stewed prunes, take his nap, and whether or not he’d be coherent if somebody woke him up is anyone’s guess.

      How much money/advantage is to be had by green-lighting the invasion of the Republic of China? Answer THAT question and you are on the money. What’s in it for the Oligarchs (nameless and faceless) who call the shots now? Congress is now a rubber stamp.

      • Thank you. I know you are plugged into events and trends in that part of the world. Serious question; not being flippant, given Chinese arrogance and belief they are superior to other races, do they really care what our (Western) Oligarchs want?

        • Yes they do. The oligarchs support the consumption market for their production (you and me and the rest of the US and to some extent, the West). They also must control the US nuclear arsenal, because I can’t imagine anyone handing Slow Joe Biden the genuine nuclear launch codes.

  7. Seems to me the US surface navy revealed itself as noncompetitive with its assigned adversary during the Cuban missile crisis in 1962, when it had no answer to Soviet submarine nuclear torpedoes.

    Later, the revealed the US surface navy as noncompetitive to cheap missile swarms, in this simulation’s case the Iranian coastal fishing fleet armed with Russian Silkworm missiles.

    Eighteen years of cheap missile technological innovation later after Millennium Challenge, I don’t know what the US surface navy is still good against; maybe Girl Scouts selling cookies? But after Zumwalt it probably can’t defend against Windows malware.

    I’d like a navy who is actually militarily competitive. Apparently that makes me a political exotic.

    • I know quite a bit about Silkworm missiles SS(N)-2C and while those very old missiles have a big warhead, they’re sort of a Potemkin Village. They’re also VERY heavy. I can’t imagine the Iranians tossing them onto coastal fishing vessels. In short, Iran may or may not have missiles that are effective against US warships, but not silkworms on small fishing vessels.

      • They’re also VERY heavy. I can’t imagine the Iranians tossing them onto coastal fishing vessels.

        Back when I learned about the wargame from g2mil, I remember it as a 2,000+ pound missile which would have to be mounted at deck level, otherwise where would the exhaust go? Offends my sense of seaworthiness. On the other hand, the scenario scored them as winning embarrassingly, and among the losing side’s many bogus complaints was not a valid complaint about unreasonable ship loading. Maybe it was mounted in the center pointed crosswise?

        • Almost everything I know about the SS(N) 2C (Chinese knock off of a Russian design) was obtained from a classified source. From Wikipedia: All I can suggest is that they’re better utilized from a shore facility and there in the Straits, they’re within range. They should work well against lumbering tankers with big slab sides that will give a good radar return.

          It would be interesting to know how many (by percentage) (a) reach their target and (b) detonate. They have a large warhead.

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