Is Texas Winning the War on the Weather?

Blog Post
Houston, Texas
Barack and others have posited that the US Military must have Global Warming as its primary mission. Since control of the weather has become Job One in the US, Texas, which enjoys a semi-arid climate during most years, has become inundated with rain. Nowhere is this more apparent than in Houston.
Local residents are urging President Obama, who is presently vacationing at the site where the US dropped an atomic bomb in Japan, to return and declare the war on the weather in Texas – over and won. The problem with that is that Houston-Bush Airport has had its runway closed intermittently due to flooding. 
Has the US Military gone too far?
Lone Star Parson says that it has not and the vast sheeting rain has been very good for striped bass action in the local lakes. He is calling for more rain (and may be asking for the Almighty to intervene) and a better bite on plugs and spoons (crank-bait).
Will Houston go underwater so that the Lone Star Parson can catch more fish? Some people have voiced that concern. 
At the same time, Houston city fathers have declared Memorial Day a day of celebration as Houston takes its place with Venice, Italy as a town where you need to get around through the use of water taxis and gondolas. They’re convinced that the metamorphosis will eventually be good for business.

16 thoughts on “Is Texas Winning the War on the Weather?

  1. The fishing has been remarkably good. I'm not sure if that signifies a win in the War on Weather (WOW) or a loss.

    Texas doesn't pay a weather tax, which complicates the issue. Houston has a lesbian mayor. Perhaps they paid the tax and somehow it wasn't enough?

  2. Y'all have been so cooperative with the Federal war on weather that you get a bonus — more rain.

  3. The progressive intelligencia (as best exemplified by intellectual giants like Barack, Michelle and Nancy Pelosi) is so much smarter than you or I. I mean they control the weather, don't they? The little people like us just have to throw the hook in the water and hope that there's a hungry striper there to bite.

  4. When the pres claims that he won the war on weather through negotiations, and free tin foil the weather will change, again.

  5. I just heard that Texas A&M is conducting DNA experiments to breed longhorns with gills and fins.

    To paraphrase a line from Jaws, "We need a bigger boat Parson."

  6. The war on weather in Texas has not been successful because there are too many constraints at the border with Mexico where the weather has been challenged by ICE officials trying to do their jobs. Obama will unveil his next executive action when he returns to Washington: to declare amnesty on any weather that comes across the border.

    In the meantime, LSP should enjoy the current illegal weather by searching out and destroying the bassnados that seem to have infested his local lake.

  7. I'd never considered weather amnesty but it's very progressive, and it involves building bridges (I think).

    If a tornado hits his fishing lake, you know it will be a full blown bassanado! If that happens, then we need better equipment:

  8. Houston for fish. Sounds like a fair trade to me.

    Have a safe, blessed holiday week and catch a few for me! Not much biting in this part of Louisiana.

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