Cultural Appropriation

Blog Post
This is your Weekend Sermonette
Normally, I would take a moment out to thank mothers for putting up with us, but there is an insidious danger in our midst and I feel driven to address that instead. (sorry Moms)
I never thought of this as a serious problem, but after the Cinco de Mayo protests over Donald Trump eating a taco salad, and Mexican complaints of “cultural appropriation”, I decided to investigate. It’s possibly my white privilege at work, because I never thought of eating Mexican food as an extension of centuries of racism, genocide, and oppression. Who would have thought that taco Tuesday could be so harmful?
At North Carolina State University, its dining services officials had to apologize for handing out “offensive” chocolate mustaches for dessert on Cinco de Mayo. 
A similar kerfuffle also occurred at the University of Maryland after two Latino students were offended when the university’s dining services staff voluntarily wore fake mustaches and sombreros during its Cinco de Mayo dinner.
The US Army is just as guilty for culturally appropriating the color green, which everyone knows, belongs to the Irish exclusively. Is there no limit to the horror? When our fellow blogger WoFat served in the Army and he saw a non-Hibernian soldier, he instinctively said, “Wow, he really must hate the Irish, because he’s culturally appropriated our color.” Has the Army paid Irish Americans for culturally appropriating their color? Not yet. That in and of itself is a form of micro aggression against people whose ancestors came from Leprechaunia.
Halloween has to be the ultimate celebration of cultural appropriation. Living humans culturally appropriate the dead by pretending to be ghosts, non-witches culturally appropriate the domain of wicca by dressing up as witches, and people out of custody culturally appropriate the garb of prisoners by wearing striped outfits, and carry simulated ball and chains around as they beg for candy.
Our friend and fellow blogger, Jules (a proper English woman), upon arrival in Texas, was horrified to see Texans drinking ice tea. Ever since Americans threw tea into Boston harbor, they began a culturally harmful, subtle aggression, against England’s national drink and by so doing have culturally appropriated tea.  It is to the point now where Texans serve “sweet tea” – an abomination to the English. Have Texans apologized for nearly a century of mockingly drinking iced and sweetened tea? If they have, I haven’t heard it.

Can you enjoy a hot delicious pizza if you’re not Italian? My sense is that you can’t lest you too be guilty of cultural appropriation. I expect that Olive Garden will soon post a sign, “ITALIANS ONLY” out front. Or maybe they will hire an Italian person (job opportunity, Adrienne?) to stand by the door and judge whether or not the prospective customer is cool enough to be granted temporary Italian status before being allowed in to have soup, salad, breadsticks and spaghetti.

So this Mother’s Day weekend, before they pass the snake around at church, think of all of the sins of cultural appropriation that you commit every day…and maybe…just maybe, the snake won’t bite.

24 thoughts on “Cultural Appropriation

  1. Easy job since only white people eat at Olive Garden. With me at the door the place would be empty. No one is as cool as an Italian.

  2. Somehow I anticipated that sort of cultural jingoism when it came to your heritage…

  3. I like this post on several levels, such as Mexican food, moustaches, sombreros, iced tea and its sturdy warning against cultural appropriation. But what swung it for me was the snakes. Thanks.

  4. An intolerable act! Lets have a tea party! I'll be the Mad Hatter and serve it hot with milk like God intended and we can add vodka to the cold stuff to improve it. I know what I'm talking about, I'm pure bred English. I won't tax you for this hospitality and will represent you as best I can.

  5. I keep thinking that one day, you'll use one of these for your Sunday Sermon there at the chapel-by-the-fishing-lake. BUT wait for Archbishop Welby to show before you hand out the snakes. — though with your luck, the snake would resist biting him out of a sense of family unity and professional courtesy.

  6. Uh-hem…Jules…you are suggesting that we culturally appropriate vodka from the Russians. I think that you're teetering on the edge of being politically incorrect and responsible for centuries of repression, cultural insensitivity and genocide. After all, why did Hitler invade Russia if not for the Vodka? He clearly didn't do it for the borscht. And you can't switch to gin because the Dutch lay claim to that, or Scotch because much as you English lay claim to Scotland, we're back at cultural appropriation again.

  7. I'm suggesting that indeed. Pure white spirit has been used as foot rub for centuries before the Russians called it vodka. And as for the Dutch, well, I beg to differ. Gin was primarily medicinal, still is in my opinion, and juniper berries have grown forever in the UK so they can sod off. Let's not talk about tea from India… I'm more than happy to be politically incorrect and say poppycock to this hyper sensitive bollocks. 🙂

  8. Keep that in mind when you go out with those two for surf 'n' turf. When Adrienne says she's wearing her 'stilettoes', she's not talking about the red heels. Although, those are frequently nice, too.

  9. You guys crack me up. I, too, thought the snake bit was the perfect way to introduce CultAprop, which is one of the best lefty creations ever. The whole idea of CultAprop is so dissonant and impossible to actually grasp or avoid. Leave it to those retards to come up with an idea so bad that it has to be severely partitioned even inside the brain of leftist so that it doesn't cause their pathetic craniums to blow sky high.

  10. Saying "poppycock" is a form of micro aggression. I need to retreat to my safe space.

  11. The notion of blowing progressive craniums sky high…sigh…in another world. Stop taunting me.

  12. Never go against (an Italian or) a Sicilian when death is on the line."

  13. I think one of the best weapons against CultAprop is a .460 Magnum. Oh. Wait. Flamethrowers are good too.

  14. You are wise. Saying "poppycock" whilst wearing a clown nose and holding a semi automatic rifle, can be very sinister.
    I was going to pull you up for stealing from the Jews and preaching Sunday sermons on a Saturday but I notice you put weekend.

  15. Jews, Jehovah's Wit's, Adventists, this is an equal opportunity blog that is concerned with cultural appropriation, gender equality for all three genders (male, female and confused), social leveling and monetary redistribution from everyone to me, etc.

  16. Snakes, schmakes. We want videos of goat sacrifices. Nothing says you love the Lord quite like a good ol' fashioned goat sacrifice.

    (yes, that line is getting stale, but I still like it.)

  17. And you can use the head as a mask once you're done with the sacrifice. There's that added benefit.

  18. Hahaha. And I (we) will appropriate the Cajun/Creole custom of boiling crawfish for Mother's Day because I like them and we like them. I suppose it will be allowed though, since my hubby is Creole…

    Be safe and God bless!

  19. Soo… Once again we're equal opportunity offenders is what you're saying… Hell, I'm good with that! 😀

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