Standard range training protocol in the Worker’s Paradise

This is the second in a continuing series on adventures that I’ve had working with manufacturers in the Worker’s Paradise (The Land of the Not Quite Right). Refer to Part One for the basics.

While doing other things, for other people, I was approached by an automobile and light truck tire manufacturer based outside of the US to assist them with a series of problems they were having in the People’s Republic of China.

LL at People’s Public Security Bureau Headquarters

Case Study

The manufacturer, TireCo, used SAP software to manage all aspects of its production in two factories they established in the People’s Republic of China. After the factories opened and production was underway, the PRC advised them that they could no longer use SAP because it had embedded encryption.

What to do?

What’s my budget? Unlimited. “Spend what you need to spend to fix this problem.”

I immediately arranged for all SAP internet transactions to be funneled through a satellite (ruinously expensive). It was not a long term strategy. Then I approached a very senior Chinese official about concerns I had of the matter leaking. It could be embarrassing to the Chinese because they couldn’t read TireCo’s mail.

What do do? I suggested that a compromise be reached. Did the Chinese official have a retarded step-child or relative that was generally unemployable. THEY DID! Maybe TireCo could have them monitor the SAP software transactions from the factory at a bloated salary (most of which would be kicked up to the official).


The satellite feed was only needed for about a week, the factories went back into full production and everyone was satisfied.


    • There is less at lower levels since Pres. Xi took power, but it exists at higher levels (rampant).

  1. Talk about using all the tools in the toolbox…very creative “outside the box” thinking there.

    • Thank you, CAMPERFIXER. My employer was thrilled. I flew to Macedonia & Greece, Liberia, Cleveland and Detroit dealing with problems for them. All solved to their satisfaction.

      • As the saying goes: It ain’t braggin if you can do it.

        Here’s the thing with my comment…having never operated in that arena it amazes me what others know and do in such situations. One has to have the tools in place and at the ready in order to employ the correct ones at a given problem. Your solution was impressive.

  2. I admit, that last picture made me think you might have on handcuffs.

    Question: How does one raise the subject of using nepotism and kickbacks to make a deal with corrupt higher level officials? Do you circle around it for several hours subtly, or get straight to the point?

    • In China, it’s important to beat around the bush endlessly over various courses of food. Sometimes it takes days. I happened to know some of the shot callers in this case and there was about five hours of BS before we all got down to the point.

    • Chinese conscripts have less value to the state than the paper targets they hold…or the people downrange.

  3. One of my cousins worked for Hewlett-Packard at about the same time I was flitting around the Middle East. His assignment was in Saudi Arabia, and they had some of the same “problems”, and they were handled in the same manner.

    Grease enough palms, and you can usually get these “problems” resolved to everyone’s satisfaction.

    • It’s not rocket science. I was just “the guy” who got the call to do that. And I did it.

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