Where would they be in 2020?

Louis XV

Under investigation for inappropriate conduct by HR at a big PR firm where he’s working. Refuses to wear a mask, calls the Chinese Plague a hoax.

 

Cleopatra Ptolemy

Cute Greek chick, did a study-abroad in Cairo,  daddy issues, working on her PhD thesis, pissed off at people who are continually trying to undermine her intelligence. Is into reptiles.

 

Julius Caesar

Finding it difficult to advance in the US Army, has to frag officers above him to move up, which his hard to do because in 2020, the brass doesn’t get within 3,000 miles of a battlefield, so they have to be ‘training accidents, gone horribly wrong.’  Working on making his way to the Presidential ticket in 2024.

 

Mona Lisa

Single mother of two boys, filing clerk at the Los Angeles County District Attorney’s Office, drives a crappy car, commutes in traffic 3 hours a day, digs spaghetti, has a secret that she isn’t about to tell YOU.

 

Napoleon Bonaparte

Policy advisor to Vladimir Putin, married to a French woman who cheats on him every chance she gets. He gets the chills every time somebody mentions “the island of Elba or St. Helena” and is not sure why. Prefers wine to vodka, which makes him a pariah in many Russian circles.

 

They All went to the Island

 

Chinese Plague

Lock down the country to flatten the curve and avoid overwhelming hospitals has morphed into lock down the entire society so that nobody catches the Chinese Plague ever again.

 

John Moses Browning’s M1895 Colt -Browning “Potato Digger” machine gun, mounted on an elephant. (c 1914) Nobody is sure in which direction the elephant will bolt when he fires the first burst (ask Hannibal). Even a deaf elephant won’t be happy with the recoil.

19 COMMENTS

    • He’s been in ill health for some time. Just look at him. All of the medical sorcerers in Norkland won’t be able to keep him going forever. He could come to the USA for treatment of his many ailments and we might be able to save him (but why?), but that won’t happen.

    • NY Times has good interactive maps that can’t be copied and pasted. This is the link to Arizona, but you can click and find what you’re looking for.
      https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/us/arizona-coronavirus-cases.html

      You should note the caveat: “Includes confirmed and probable cases where available.” And people can make of that what they will. I’m not saying that the numbers are ‘faked’, just that if you get into the weeds, the precise numbers might not be completely accurate.

  1. “Lock down the country to flatten the curve and avoid overwhelming hospitals has morphed into lock down the entire society so that nobody catches the Chinese Plague ever again.”

    I would change that last part to “so that nobody remembers what freedom was like, ever again”.

    -Kle.

  2. I’m with everyone else, machine gun/elephant. But see beyond that to the genius of this post, Reincarnation.

    What does that make Nancy? Good question, eh?

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